Secret Whispers Read online

  Family Planning

  SOMETIMES DURING THE weeks that followed, I wondered if I had really gotten the better of Lucille. Perhaps Cassie hadn’t given me the right advice, after all. Like a swimmer caught in a current, Lucille realized it was wiser to swim with it than against it. Only by swimming faster than the current could she maintain her precious control.

  Because I had implied that I might agree to a big wedding, she immediately began to plan it. Soon, there wasn’t a dinner at home that didn’t include some brochure, some new wedding idea, or some new design she had discovered for an altar. She agreed that it wasn’t necessary for our wedding to be as big as hers and Daddy’s, but there were at least five hundred people who should be invited.

  “Five hundred people is not outrageous,” she said before I could object.

  “No, it’s not,” Daddy agreed.

  I didn’t object, and that soon led to a listing and discussion of names, almost all of whom I had no knowledge of. They were, in Lucille’s terms, “the core of our business relationships.”

  Ethan had already given her his list of relatives and some friends from home he’d like to see invited. But that was only twenty names. I had no close girlfriends to ask to be my bridesmaids. Lucille’s solution was to suggest that I have some of the company’s most important young female employees.

  “They’ll all be honored, and it will enhance the wedding to have a half-dozen or so,” she said. Of course, Daddy agreed.

  Most of the time, I simply listened to the discussion without commenting. However, one night after dinner, I asked Ethan to do me a favor regarding our wedding.

  “Anything,” he said. “What?”

  “Ask my uncle Perry to be your best man.”

  “Really?” He held his smile. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what I was doing. I was showing Lucille just how wrong she had been to replace Uncle Perry with Senator Brice. “He’s not really my best friend. I was thinking of George Samuels from back home. George and I were very close in high school and never lost touch with each other. You’ll like George.”

  “Uncle Perry is my best friend,” I said. “In time, he’ll become yours as well, but if he’s mine now, he’s yours now, too.”

  He nodded, seeing how firmly I wanted this. “Okay. I’ll ask him.”

  “Thank you.”

  “We’ll have to settle on a date, then,” he warned.

  “That’s fine. You decide,” I said.

  I knew he would run right to Lucille and Daddy and determine the date with them. They concluded that we could hold the wedding in about three months. Now that it was more than just a small family affair, Lucille announced that she and I would explore a few hotels. She determined which ones to consider. I couldn’t disagree, because she was more familiar with all of that than I could ever be. In fact, I told her to make the choice herself.

  “What? It’s your wedding,” she said, really taken by surprise. “You should be the one making the choice.”

  It’s my wedding, I thought, but you’ve taken it over.

  “I trust you to make the right decision,” I said.

  She smiled. “Well, I’m happy to see you have that much faith in me, Semantha.”

  “I certainly do when it comes to something like this,” I said, and she looked very pleased.

  It was really Cassie’s strategy. Ever since Lucille and I had had that little tiff at dinner and I had insisted that she not touch my wing of Heaven-stone, Lucille was more aloof, suspecting not only that I didn’t like her but that I would try to cause some break in her relationship with Daddy.

  “Are you absolutely sure you want me to handle this all by myself?” she asked.

  “I saw how well you planned your own wedding. I’m not the least bit worried.”

  “Well, would you like some help choosing your gown?”

  “Give her an inch, and she’ll take a foot,” Cassie whispered.

  “Of course I do,” I said.

  As far as Daddy and Ethan were concerned, when they heard about all of this, the thin wall of ice that had formed between Lucille and me rapidly melted.

  “Good. Let’s take some time and do that this weekend, then,” she said, lowering her voice as if someone could overhear us. “I have a secret. I’m not crazy about the wedding dresses at our stores. I haven’t gotten into the problems with that designer yet, but I have a specialty store for us to visit in Lexington, and they’ll do an extra-special job for me.”

  “Thank you,” I said, and our day was planned. My cooperation and willingness to have her do what any mother of the bride would do filled her with such an air of joy that she seemed to float through Heaven-stone. Her new trust in me was palpable. She had nothing but smiles for me.

  When we drove in my car to the wedding-gown store, Lucille even apologized for the comment she had made at dinner when discussion about the size of my wedding had first occurred.

  “I didn’t mean it to be mean,” she said. “I am concerned about you and want you to have a successful relationship and marriage. Ethan is going to rise quickly in our executive ranks. You’ll be attending many social functions, and I’m sure you will be an enormous asset to him. There’s no reason for you to be shy about meeting people, either.

  “You’ll soon realize that half the people you meet, especially some of the women, are not half as bright as you are, believe me, and I’ll be there often to help you with anyone or anything. As my father would say, you can take that to the bank.”

  She laughed and held her smile. I was driving and had barely spoken or changed expression.

  “I see significant growth in you already, Semantha,” she continued.

  Cassie had used to say some people abhor silence the way nature abhors a vacuum. Lucille had to have conversation.

  “I do want us to be great friends,” she added when my silence continued.

  “Of course,” I said.

  She didn’t ask, but I saw in her face that she wasn’t sure if I meant Of course you do or Of course we will be. That was a Cassie trick. When she wanted to be ambiguous, she could be, and trying to determine what she meant by looking at her did no good. Her face was a Broadway billboard flashing expressions on and off so quickly you weren’t sure what you had just seen.

  At Lucille’s choice for a wedding-gown store, I tried on a half-dozen different styles before Lucille warmed to one. When I considered it objectively, I had to confess it was a beautiful dress, and it did, as she said, complement my figure. We went through the accessories and then had a late lunch at a restaurant she frequented often. Everyone working there knew her, and a number of other customers stopped by our table to say hello. She identified most of them by the fame of their families or their family businesses. “She belongs to Altman Jewelry,” she would say, nodding at a woman who had just visited with us, or “He’s the principal shareholder of Frontier National.” Or “That was Miss Kentucky Scaffold. Her father’s company somehow wins government bid after government bid.”

  Later, when I described my day to Ethan, I told him, “Lucille doesn’t really know people; she knows businesses. It’s like looking for people’s telephone numbers in the yellow pages rather than the white pages.”

  He laughed. “Sometimes you do come out with a good one,” he said. “You’re a delightful surprise, Semantha. I’m happy you’re getting along better with Lucille. By the way, she’s done us another favor.”

  “Oh? What now?”

  “Our honeymoon.”

  “Don’t tell me she’s paying for it.”

  “No, but remember her friend from Monaco, Claire Dubonnet? The woman who works for the prince?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Lucille contacted her for us, and she’s arranged for us to stay at Hotel de Paris in an upgrade. Not a bad choice for a honeymoon, huh?”

  “It sounds wonderful,” I said. “But shouldn’t we be the ones deciding where to go on our honeymoon?”

  “It’s just a suggestion,” he sai
d, holding up his hand. “If you have other ideas . . .”

  “Do you?”

  “Not any that would beat this,” he said. “As your father says, no sense in looking a gift horse in the mouth.”

  “Okay, then, that’s where we’ll go,” I told him.

  With the plans for our wedding going well, my gown and accessories taken care of, and our honeymoon set, the atmosphere of harmony continued at Heaven-stone. Daddy seemed more relaxed. Lucille certainly was, and Ethan was practically floating as high as she was. Occasionally, I would look for Cassie in the middle of it all and find her here and there, sitting quietly, pondering.

  “Am I doing everything right?” I asked her.

  “For now,” she said. “The second shoe has yet to drop.”

  “How will I know when it has?”

  “Oh, you’ll know. Don’t worry. You’ll know.”

  Lucille determined that the ideal venue for our wedding would be the Hotel Glory, which was only twenty miles from Heaven-stone. She took me to see the ballroom and meet with the special-occasions manager to review the menu. Once I had let her decide on the site of our wedding, she went forward and made all of the other arrangements as well, including ordering the flowers, choosing the invitations, and settling on the band. She brought every choice to me, and I stamped it with my approval without comment. Ordinarily, she would have been very happy to see me being so continually cooperative and appreciative, but my attitude, which I’m sure to her bordered on indifference, began to irk her.

  Finally, she came right out and said, “You don’t seem as excited by all this as I would expect. You do want to get married, don’t you, Semantha?”

  “Oh, yes, of course,” I said. “Ethan and I love each other very much. I guess I’m looking forward to our marriage more than I am to our wedding. After all, a wedding is just a big party that lasts for a few hours and then gets pressed into albums.”

  She held her mouth slightly open and looked speechless. Finally realizing it, she said, “From how your father describes your sister Cassie, I would think that would be something she would have said, something she would have believed. I thought you were different.”

  “Really? How?” I was really curious about how Daddy had described the two of us.

  “More feminine, more into being a woman. For most women, their wedding day is one of the most important days of their lives.”

  “Oh, I don’t mean to say it isn’t important. I’m just trying to be sensible and grounded, Lucille. In a way, I’m trying to be more like you.”

  “Me?” She thought a moment. I could see she wasn’t sure if I was giving her a compliment or not. She smiled. “I’m glad you’re being sensible, but you can let go sometimes and just have fun, too.”

  “I will,” I promised.

  She nodded, but I could see she wasn’t quite sure now what to make of me.

  “Perfect,” Cassie whispered. “You have her off-balance. You’re chipping away at that Great Wall of Confidence she wraps around herself.”

  I knew this was true, because Lucille was discussing me more and more with Ethan, especially after this last conversation about our wedding. I realized it because he continually asked me about the wedding preparations, looking for a sign of unhappiness.

  “If there’s something Lucille did or is doing that you don’t like, please tell me,” he said.

  “Everything’s fine, Ethan. As long as Uncle Perry is your best man, that is.”

  “Yes, he’s agreed.”

  “Then don’t worry,” I told him, but he wore the same suspicious and uncertain expression Lucille now wore.

  Only Daddy seemed unaffected by my complacency. He ascribed it to my realization that Lucille was a unique, bright woman and thought it was very wise of me to seek her counsel, especially when it came to planning a wedding.

  “My father told me the wisest man is one who knows when he needs advice and where to go for it. People are like tools. You choose the right one for the right job. I’m really proud of you, Semantha.”

  “Thank you, Daddy.”

  “I keep thinking that we’ve turned a page. We’re all off to a wonderful new beginning. I do feel ten years younger, and the proof is that there is no new proposal, no matter how ambitious it might seem, that frightens me. I’m a real Heaven-stone again. And so are you.”

  “If I didn’t know you don’t buy into all that, I’d be worried,” Cassie whispered. “Just keep smiling. Our time will come.”

  And smile was what I did. There were no arguments, no disagreements. Even Uncle Perry was convinced that we were all heading toward better times. Daddy was roaring about with his new energy. Lucille was making some very wise decisions and not alienating the employees the way he had feared she might. And Ethan was gaining everyone’s respect. To cap it off, Uncle Perry told me I was beginning to look like the future mistress of Heaven-stone should.

  Behind him, behind everyone who complimented the four of us now, stood Cassie, wearing that sly smile, and behind that smile, her clever, conniving mind was molding a plan. We would take back our heritage and our history and, most of all, control of our destiny. No one, least of all Lucille, should have come into our world thinking otherwise. I could feel Cassie’s confidence inside me. It was like the old days when she had been my strength, my spine, and I felt very safe.

  The first time I worried a little about that safety came when Ethan shocked me with a proposal. We had just finished another of Gerad’s gourmet dinners, all of us drinking more wine than usual. Daddy and Lucille went off to talk about some business projects in his office. Considering what they had consumed, I wondered how they could discuss anything intelligently. I was feeling a little tipsy myself, and Ethan’s face was so flushed that someone might think he had just come in from an afternoon of intense sunbathing. He took my hand and led me to the den. I could see he had something on his mind. He looked like a little boy planning to raid a cookie jar.

  “I have an idea,” he began. “It’s something I know will please your father very much and something we’ll probably be doing anyway.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “I think we should plan right now on your getting pregnant as soon as possible. I mean, it’s not something we have to wait until we are actually married before we plan. Anyway, what difference will two more months make? Of course, the hope is that our firstborn will be a boy we can name Asa. He won’t be Asa Heaven-stone, he’ll be Asa Hunter—but your father will still have his grandson.”

  “I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant that fast after we were married, Ethan.”

  The whole idea seemed terrifying—and for reasons Ethan wouldn’t understand.

  “But you did plan on us having children, right?”

  “Yes, in time,” I said.

  “Well, you’re not exactly going to sacrifice a career or anything when you become a mother,” he said.

  I was sure that he wouldn’t have been so blunt if it hadn’t been for the wine. Nevertheless, I recoiled.

  “That’s not the only reason a woman might wait. I’m not exactly closing in on the end of my child-bearing years.”

  “I didn’t mean to imply anything negative,” he said. “I just thought . . . well . . .” He looked at me harder. “You’re not afraid to have children now because of what happened to you, are you?”

  “Don’t start talking therapy, Ethan,” I warned.

  “No, no, I don’t mean to even suggest such a thing. I just want you to know I’m here for you and want to help you get over anything you have to get over.”

  “I don’t have to get over anything. What is this rush to have children?”

  “It’s not meant to be a rush. I just thought it would be something wonderful for all of us. I’m not saying it would even happen that quickly. I know you’ve been on your birth control pills, and it could take months after you stop because of how a woman’s body readjusts, but—”

  “What, are you doing research about it?”


  “A little,” he said, smiling. “My Boy Scout background. Always be prepared. Anyway, I know a woman could have to wait about two or three months or more after she stops the pill and returns to her normal menstrual cycle before she conceives, so the sooner you stop taking it, the better the chances of our having a baby within the first year or so of our marriage. That wouldn’t be so terrible, would it? Just imagine. When our children are older and on their own, we’ll still be relatively young.”

  “That’s true,” I said, but I was thinking more about my daughter. I’d only be in my thirties when she was a teenager. I could literally be a grandmother in my thirties.

  “Sure. It makes sense for us. I know the room we should fix up as a nursery,” he added quickly. “It’s the one right next to yours, the smaller guest room. Lucille even suggested we have an access door made from your room, which will become ours, to this nursery.”

  “Lucille suggested? You discussed this with her first?”

  “She was just talking one day about the future and planning, and she came up with the idea.”

  “What else did she suggest about our future and how we should conduct our lives?”

  He held up both hands as if he were trying to keep a wall from toppling. “Now, don’t get upset. It was an innocent suggestion. She’s not trying to run anyone’s life. She’s a woman with great experience and insight. We might as well take advantage of her.”

  “As long as we’re taking advantage of her and she’s not taking advantage of us.”

  He laughed. “How could she do that?”

  “Maybe he’s not as bright as you think,” Cassie whispered. “I’m a little worried about how eagerly and how much he confides in her. Don’t say too much more right now.”

  “Okay,” I told him. “I’ll put all this in my bank account of ideas.”

  He missed my sarcasm, smiled, and kissed me. “Then you’ll stop taking birth control pills?”

  I nodded, and he was satisfied, but the whole discussion made me uneasy. We talked no more about it, but the frequency with which Ethan came to my bedroom to make love made me think about it. He made sure to know when my period was supposed to come again and counted days, telling me when I was ovulating. I tried to be as enthusiastic as he was, but it was difficult.