Secret Whispers Read online

  “I don’t want a wedding like yours.”

  She recoiled with surprise.

  “I want a small family affair.”

  Lucille stared at me a moment. “I see,” she said. She wore an incredulous half-smile that quickly evaporated as she looked at the rest of her soup. “I’m sure you’ll change your mind when all this settles in,” she said without looking at me.

  “I’m sure I won’t,” I replied, and looked at Ethan. He tried smiling, but his eyes were two pools of fear. The surprise was veering off like a plane that had lost its tail end.

  No one else spoke. Mia returned and took away our soup bowls. Moments later, Chef Gerad came in himself with the tray of entrées. He was proud of his creation and stood back to watch us taste the veal chop. Everyone, even I, who was still quite upset about the dismissal of Mrs. Dobson and Doris, had to admit it was delicious. Daddy once again congratulated Lucille for getting us Gerad.

  The two De Stagen sisters hovered behind us during the entire meal, ready to jump and pour more wine or pass something on the table. Dishes and glasses were removed as soon as they were no longer required. I looked to see if anyone else was bothered by their intensity, but no one was. When Mrs. Dobson and Doris were there, dinner had still felt like a homemade meal in a home. This dinner gave me the feeling that I had been transported to an elegant and expensive French restaurant. I half expected to see Daddy get the bill and pull out his credit card. I almost said so but thought it would only upset him. Later, however, I did tell Ethan how I felt.

  “You’ll get used to it,” he said.

  “I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want to be on a stage when I eat dinner. Next thing you know, we’ll be given a book of etiquette to study.”

  I saw a slight smile on his lips.

  “You don’t have that book, do you, Ethan?”

  “A little fairy put it on my dresser when I first arrived.”

  “I wonder who that was,” I said, and shook my head.

  “You weren’t serious about our wedding, were you?” he asked.

  “Yes, why?”

  “Oh, you don’t want to do that, Semantha. A father gets so much pleasure from making his daughter’s wedding. Your dad surely wants to enjoy it, too, don’t you think?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. I hadn’t thought of it from that viewpoint.

  “Well, just give it some more thought, okay?”

  I nodded, but I had a Cassie thought. Was it really my father he was thinking of, or was he thinking of himself and what an impression he would be making on his family and his friends? I hated having such a thought about him and shook it out as soon as it occurred.

  In the days that followed, I didn’t have much time to think about it, anyway. We went to Daddy’s award dinner, which was quite impressive. There were television and newspaper people all over us the whole time. When we returned home, there was too much going on in the house to think about much else.

  Lucille apparently had decided to make some significant decorative changes, which included some of the upstairs, but not yet my wing. I learned about it as it happened. What surprised me was how deep some of the changes were. Not only were walls repainted and floors redone, but furniture was replaced. With something else happening every day, it was hard to catch my breath and ask about what had been done.

  What shocked me most of all was Daddy’s acquiescence. For all of my life, the furnishings and decor of Heaven-stone had been sacrosanct. Mother had been permitted to make only the smallest of changes compared with what Lucille was doing, which included a total revamping of the kitchen to make it “a first-class gourmet kitchen.” The old furniture was relegated to the attic, which was rapidly becoming the Heaven-stone historic cemetery.

  Of course, I complained to Ethan, who told me it was only natural for a woman to want to put her own stamp of identity on her home.

  “You would do the same thing,” he said, which put a new thought in my head, especially now that I saw what Lucille was doing and Daddy was letting her do.

  “Maybe you’re right. After we’re married, we’ll have our own home. I suppose we should start thinking about it.”

  He looked at me strangely. “Our own home? You mean, you’d want to move out of Heaven-stone?”

  “It’s not my home now. You just said so. It’s Lucille’s.”

  “But it’s so big. Four families could live here without ever seeing each other.”

  “Don’t you want your own home, Ethan?”

  He thought a moment and nodded. “Yes, you’re right,” he said. “I just never thought you’d want to move.”

  “I didn’t until now,” I told him.

  We didn’t discuss it again for a while. Instead, the conversation returned to the subject of our wedding. Lucille had suggested some dates. Ethan didn’t come right out and say she was basically deciding when we would get married, but I read between the lines when he talked about his work and what was being planned.

  “We can get married here,” I said as a form of compromise, “but I don’t want hundreds of strangers. As I said at dinner when we announced our engagement, let’s just have our families.”

  He didn’t argue, but I knew he was discussing it with both Lucille and my father. Finally, Daddy brought it up at dinner one night. When he spoke, Lucille kept her eyes on her plate and pursed her lips and listened.

  “We have so many close friends who would like to share in our happiness,” Daddy began. “We don’t have to have a wedding as big as Lucille’s and mine was, but we could have a modest affair.”

  “Modest? I’m sure you’ll have trouble cutting down on the list, Daddy. Look how hard it was for you with your own wedding.”

  “You just let me worry about that, Semantha.”

  Lucille glanced at me and then looked at Daddy. “If it’s really making her that uncomfortable even to think about it, Teddy . . .”

  “It is,” I said quickly.

  “Then maybe she should have a few more sessions with Dr. Ryan,” she added. “She’s still avoiding socializing.”

  I felt the blood rise up my neck and into my cheeks. “I have to go to therapy because I don’t want my wedding to become a social-political event like yours?”

  “Semantha!” Daddy shouted. “That’s an inappropriate thing to say.”

  I looked at Ethan, who was looking down, and then I rose and left the dining room.

  “Good,” Cassie said, and led me out of the house.

  I was halfway to the pool before I heard Ethan call to me. He ran to catch up.

  “Hey, hold up,” he said, taking my right arm at the elbow. “Why did you get so upset?”

  “You’re kidding. Why did I get so upset?”

  He shook his head.

  “Lucille basically just said that if I don’t want a big wedding, I need mental help, and you wonder why I got so upset?”

  He nodded and walked along slowly. “It’s just how she thinks. She can’t imagine any young woman not wanting a big wedding with all the trimmings.”

  “I’m not Lucille, and just because she can’t imagine it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me, does it?”

  “Of course not. Your father wouldn’t send you to a therapist for that. He just told her so in no uncertain terms after you left.”

  I paused. “Did he?”

  “Yes. He feels terrible. I could see. He told me to tell you that he didn’t mean to cause us any concern, and if you want to have a small family event, fine.”

  “Well, why didn’t he say so at the table?”

  Ethan shrugged. “I imagine, like any parent, he was worried you weren’t thinking it out fully, but he doesn’t want to see you upset. He’s very happy with how things have been going.”

  “I wish he’d tell me that sometimes.”

  “I’m sure he will. Right now, he thinks you have eyes and ears for no one else but me. Probably because that’s the way he is with Lucille. He thinks we’re just as much in l
ove. Well, I have news for him.”

  “What?”

  “We’re more in love.” He turned me to him. “Right?”

  “I hope so,” I said.

  “I know so,” he replied, and kissed me. I saw Cassie standing behind him, shaking her head. “Anyway,” he continued, walking me along, “under the circumstances, with our wedding being a small family affair, I suggest we get married within a month. Lucille just admitted that because it’s such an intimate affair, the preparation time wouldn’t be that long. They went off to check on some dates for us. We can have invitations out in a few days. Gerad will prepare a wonderful wedding dinner, and Lucille thinks Mia and Catherine can handle our small reception.” He emphasized “small.”

  “It will have more meaning for us, Ethan, if we just have the people we love and who love us.”

  “I understand. I’m not upset, and now, neither are they. There’ll be plenty of time afterward for elaborate social events at Heaven-stone.”

  His understanding tone helped me calm down. I rested my head against his shoulder.

  “You are more sensible than I am.”

  “I’m here for you. That’s what matters the most.” He kissed me on the forehead, and we settled on a chaise longue. I didn’t see Cassie, but I felt certain she wasn’t far away. She was probably very disappointed, having expected my leaving the dinner table to be the beginning of some big fight with Lucille.

  “My sister would never have liked Lucille,” I said.

  “How do you know?”

  “I know.”

  “From what I hear about her, especially from your father, she wasn’t so different from Lucille. She was intelligent, determined, and very protective of Heaven-stone. They’d probably agree about many things.”

  “No. They wouldn’t agree about anything.”

  “Well, that isn’t important now,” he said. “She’s not the one who has to coexist with Lucille. You are, and you’ll do just fine.”

  I didn’t like the sound of the word “coexist.”

  “I meant what I said about moving out of here, Ethan. If we’re going to get married that soon, we should begin to look for a new home.”

  He was thoughtful for a while before speaking. “Well,” he said, “let’s not pile it on them tonight. We’ll break the news in a day or so, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He held me, but it was as if he weren’t there. His thoughts were so far off.

  “Let’s go back in,” I said. The sky was overcast, and it wasn’t as pleasant as most of the nights we had spent out there.

  We rose and started back toward the house. Cassie was waiting at the door. She said nothing, but followed us in. I knew she was waiting for an opportunity, waiting until I was alone. Ethan wanted us to join Daddy and Lucille in the den.

  “They’ll gang up on you,” Cassie whispered. “They’re not giving you a chance to think.”

  “You go on ahead,” I told him. “I’ll be down in a while.”

  I headed up the stairway, Cassie right behind me. We went into my room and I closed the door. I could feel her rage.

  “How dare you?” she asked.

  “What?”

  “I heard what you said. How dare you give up Heaven-stone, surrender to that woman? Get married and then find your own home? What are you, some common, average person looking forward to a life in oblivion? Don’t you realize what you’d be turning your back on if you did such a thing? Go down and look into the face of every Heaven-stone on the wall of portraits. See if there is one coward among them.”

  “I can’t live here with her. She won’t have Ethan only at work; she’ll run our lives through him here. Look at the influence she has on Daddy already. If he can’t stand up to her, what do you think Ethan would do?”

  “Then maybe he’s not the one for you. You can decide that later. You are moving too quickly, or should I say you are being moved too quickly? You’re so pathetic sometimes with that mealy-mouth look, that desperation for someone to love you. You’ve always been this way, no matter how I tried to change you, to protect you.

  “You go right back downstairs and make it clear to them that you’re in charge of your own destiny and what will be the destiny of Heaven-stone. The very idea of Lucille determining your wedding date . . . doesn’t that make you sick?”

  “Yes. But what will I say?”

  “Simple. You want time to let everything settle in. You’re still not sure about what you want to do career-wise. It was Lucille who talked you out of joining Uncle Perry, wasn’t it? Not only is she deciding what you’ll eat here and what you will and will not do every day, she’s laying out your entire future. It’s ridiculous to think you could find an adequate new home that quickly, anyway. Ethan knows that. He’ll ‘yes’ you to death so you’re happy and she’s happy. Well, take control. Think of yourself as me for a change.

  “Go on. Straighten your shoulders. Firm up your voice. Claim your birthright,” she ordered. “Daddy will respect you more.”

  “Will he?”

  “He respected me, didn’t he? He still does. Ethan told you how he talked about me.”

  “Will you be there with me?”

  “Of course. I’m with you forever,” she said.

  I picked up my picture of Mother and myself, pressed it to my heart, put it back, and started out. Cassie was there in the hallway. She walked alongside me and was right behind me as I descended.

  I heard Daddy, Lucille, and Ethan laughing in the den. They all had drinks and turned to me as I entered.

  “Well, feeling a bit better, Semantha?” Daddy asked.

  “Yes, Daddy, thank you.”

  “Would you like an after-dinner drink? We’re all trying this port wine Senator Brice sent over yesterday.”

  “It’s terrific,” Ethan said.

  “Thank you. I would.”

  Lucille studied me closely as I approached the bar. She sensed something different. Ethan simply held his smile, frozen like a man halfway across on a tightrope.

  Daddy poured my drink.

  “Well, now, what should we drink to?” he asked, raising his glass.

  “The Heaven-stones,” I said. He smiled. Everyone sipped the port. “And my decisions,” I added.

  Ethan looked worried. He started to shake his head, afraid I was going to announce our moving out.

  “What decisions?” Lucille asked.

  “For one, I’d like to think more about the wedding. Maybe I spoke too quickly. I might want a bigger affair, so I don’t want to rush it just to meet an available date.”

  Both Lucille and Ethan looked speechless.

  Daddy smiled. “That’s very wise,” he said.

  “And second, after we’re married, we’ll be setting up our lives together, and we’d obviously want to stay at Heaven-stone.”

  I looked at Ethan, whose eyebrows rose. He smiled.

  “Of course you would,” Daddy said, now looking even happier. “I wouldn’t hear otherwise.”

  “So, I think I should lay claim to the west wing,” I continued. “We’ll need guest rooms for our guests occasionally, and those rooms, the powder room, and what could easily be an upstairs den for us should not be touched. I think there should only be very minor changes, especially in what was once Cassie’s room.”

  For a moment, you could hear a pin drop. Ethan looked as if he was holding his breath.

  “That’s a very sensible, wise thought,” Daddy said. He turned to Lucille. “Isn’t it?”

  Lucille looked as if she had a mouthful of sour milk. The smile that finally emerged was as cold as the smile on death’s face, I was sure. “Yes, that would be fine,” she said, as if she were the one who made the final decision. I certainly wasn’t going to thank her.

  “I didn’t think I’d like port,” I said, drinking some more. “It’s very good.”

  Daddy laughed. “I never knew a Heaven-stone who didn’t like it. My father had a glass of port every night before he went to bed.”r />
  Lucille put her glass on the bar and turned to Daddy. “Speaking of bed, I think I’ll go up now, Teddy.”

  “Right. I’m coming. We’re off to Louisville tomorrow. Big chamber of commerce luncheon event at which we’re special guests,” he explained. He stopped to kiss me good night and then hurried after Lucille.

  “Well, well, you’re certainly full of surprises,” Ethan said. “I know they were pleased with your decision about the wedding. Of course, I regret having to wait longer to make you Mrs. Hunter, but under the circumstances, it’s a good plan. And I’m happy you decided we should stay here.”

  “Lucille wasn’t exactly pleased about that.”

  “I don’t know. I think she was just tired. What got you to change your mind?”

  “My sister,” I said.

  “Your sister?” He held his smile. “I don’t understand.”

  “Cassie was always the sensible one. I just thought about what she would do.”

  “Sensible?” He shook his head. “I know your father said she was intelligent and always concerned about the family, but after what you said she did to you, I’m not sure I’d conclude she was sensible.”

  I didn’t reply. I turned my back on him and put my glass on the bar.

  “Well, none of that really matters now. I guess I’ll go up, too,” he said. “Lucille left a list a mile long for me to follow up on tomorrow while they’re away.” He came up to me and put his arms around my waist. Then he kissed me on the back of the neck. “Going up?”

  “Not yet,” I said, still not turning around. “But don’t worry about me. You go on. You need your rest if you want to keep up with her.”

  He laughed and let go of me. “She does have endless energy. Half the time, she forgets to eat lunch. Okay, but you get some rest, too. Emotional events wear you down.”

  I turned to him, and he kissed me good night.

  “Everything’s going to be great now. You’ll see,” he said. “I’m proud of you.”

  I watched him leave, and then I looked at Cassie, who had been standing off to the right the whole time.

  She was smiling.

  “Everything will be great now,” she said. “But he has no idea why.”