Celeste Read online

  I sat sulking in a chair gazing out at the forest, searching the shadows for signs of any spirits, but there was nothing but the darkness and the frees.

  They're upset, I thought. They're all upset. maybe Daddy the most.

  Finally Mommy called us to dinner, and I had to call to Noble. He climbed down and we entered the house.

  "Where's your magnifying glass?" Mommy asked Noble immediately.

  "Outside," he said.

  "Well, you shouldn't leave things outside. Noble. You should take better care of things you are ziven," she chastised. "Go out and get it," she told him.

  He turned and ran out.

  "I'm sorry. Taylor," Mommy said.

  "He's just being a boy," Mr. Kotes said. "I was probably worst at his age."

  "I bet," Mommy said, and they laughed.

  What made them so friendly all of a sudden? I wondered. Teaching her dancing? Bringing her flowers?

  Mommy called me into the kitchen to help bring out the sliced bread and butter, a jug of cold water, and some cranberry sauce. She had roasted a chicken and made her famous small potatoes in the gravy, something Daddy just loved. I saw she had prepared an apple pie. too. She had made this a very special dinner. Everything looked and smelled as wonderful as ever. My stomach churned in anticipation.

  We had just sat. Mr. Kotes indeed in Daddy's chair. when Noble returned. He was empty handed.

  "Where's the magnifying glass?" Mommy asked immediately.

  "Its not there," Noble said.

  "What?"

  "It's not where I left it."

  "That's ridiculous. Noble."

  "Someone took it," he said and glanced quickly at me.

  Mommy was speechless for a moment, Mr. Kotes sat with a silly smile on his face.

  "Someone took it? Someone came to our home and took it?" Mommy finally asked.

  Noble shrugged.

  "It s not there," he declared, his arms out. He looked at Mr. Kotes to see his reaction. Mr. Kotes continued to smile, but said nothing. I imagined Noble wanted to see him upset, especially now that he saw Mr. Noble was sitting in Daddy's chair.

  Mommy turned to me, her lips taut, her eyes burning. "Celeste, take your brother by the hand. Take him outside and find that magnifying glass

  immediately." she ordered. "Now!" she emphasized, raising her eyebrows. I got up quickly.

  "Oh, let it go. Sarah," Mr. Kotes said. "I'm sure he'll find it later,"

  "No, he'll find it now;" Mommy said sternly. "Or he won't have any dinner, and neither will Celeste," she added, glaring at me.

  I took Nobel's hand and quickly turned him to the doorway. "Sarah. really--"

  "Don't interfere," Mommy snapped at Mr. Kotes. "He needs some discipline, and he needs to know the value of things and what responsibility means. They both do," she added.

  "You're probably right," Ms. Kotes agreed quickly.

  "That was stupid. Noble." I said as we walked out of the house. "You just made Mommy mad at us for nothing."

  He was silent. I marched him back to the anthill, but the magnifying glass was not there.

  "See?" he said.

  "Where is it. Noble?"

  "I don't know,.` he said.

  "This is dumb, Noble. Where is it?" I demanded, my hands on my hips.

  "I don't know,''

  "I'm going to go back inside and tell Mommy you won't tell me," I warned.

  "Tell her to come out and look for herself," he said defiantly, standing back with his arms folded. "You can see its not here."

  "Well... where is it then?" I asked.

  He looked around. The darkness had thickened. The overcast night sky seemed to be closing in on us. The wind picked up in intensity. I walked all around the anthill and searched and searched. but I couldn't find it.

  "Did you throw it away. Noble?"

  "No." he said.

  "Did you hide it somewhere?"

  "No." he insisted. "I didn't do anything. When I came down from the tree, it wasn't here."

  "Im hungry. Noble," I whined. "I want to eat. Everything is hot and ready. and Mommy has your favorite pie."

  He shrugged and looked away.

  "Mommy's going to be madder at you than me," I warned. He didn't respond. so I ran up to him and shook him. He pulled out of my grip.

  "Leave me alone or I'll kick you. Celeste."

  "Where's the magnifying glass, Noble? Where is it?" I shouted at him.

  "I don't know."

  "If you didn't throw it away and you didn't hide it, then where would it be?" I demanded, stepping closer to him. He didn't turn away.

  "Daddy probably took it," he offered after a long moment, his eyes fixed on mine.

  I felt my throat close and a wave of heat rise up my spine. When it reached my neck, it turned into a chill.

  "What?"

  "He's mad, very angry," Noble continued. "Mr. Kotes is sitting in his chair.''

  I started to speak and then stopped and looked back at the house. I shook my head.

  "Ask him," Noble challenged, "You can see him, ask him. You'll see I'm right."

  "I don't see Daddy," I whispered and kept shaking my head. I didn't know why I was

  whispering. What he had said made me lower my voice. "I can't demand him to appear. I told you so many times."

  Suddenly the front door was pulled open and Mommy stepped out on the porch.

  "Celeste. Noble, where are you two?"

  "Go on," Noble urged, "Tell her what I said. She'll believe you."

  "No." I said. "You don't lie about that. You don't lie about spiritual things." I backed away from him, and then I ran to the house.

  Mommy stood there with her hands on her hips, glaring down at me.

  "Well?" she asked.

  "If s not there where he left it," I told her. "What are you saying. Celeste?"

  "He threw it down by the anthill. I saw him do that, but it's not there, Mommy."

  "Then where is it?"

  "I don't know. Mommy." I said and started to cry.

  "Well, until you do or until he does, you can 20 without any dinner," she said. "Just ao up to your room and think about it," she added as Noble drew closer. "Go on," she ordered, pointing toward the stairway.

  Noble walked in quickly and rushed toward the stairs. I followed with my head down.

  "I'm disappointed in you. Celeste," she said. I spun around.

  "Why me? He did something with it, not me."

  "You know why," she said, glaring at me. "Go on upstairs," she commanded and then marched down the hallway to have dinner with Mr. Kotes,

  Noble threw himself on his bed facedown. I sat on my bed, staring at him. Through the floor we could hear Mommy's and Mr. Kotes's muffled conversation. My stomach -roared with disappointment as I thought about what they were eating now. The house was still full of the wonderful aromas.

  "Aren't you hungry. Noble?" I asked him softly. His body shuddered.

  "I am. I'm so hungry. I could eat my pillow," I said, and he turned and looked at me. I saw he had been crying.

  "I can't find it. Celeste. I looked, and it was gone. I'm not lying," he insisted, holding his arms out. He did look like he was telling the truth. but that made no sense.

  "Spirits don't take things." I told him.

  "How do you know? You don't know

  everything about them. You should have told Mommy. You should have," he asserted. "She would have let us eat. She would have believed you."

  "I told you. I can't tell her something that isn't true, especially about that. I might not ever see Daddy again if I do."

  "I don't care. I don't see him," he said and turned over to lie facedown again.

  The muffled conversation below grew softer, and then there was laughter. They played music again. too. How could Mommy do this? How could she be happy with us up here starving?

  I lay back. Maybe if I meditated. I thought. I could stop being so hungry. Eventually I fell asleep and so did Noble. Much later. I woke wit
h a start and heard some footsteps descending the stairs. I rose slowly and opened our door. There was no one there. but I heard Mommy talking to Mr. Kotes below. I heard the front door open and heard her say good night.

  "Thank you." he said. "A wonderful dinner, especially the dessert." he added, "And I don't mean just the apple pie."

  I heard Mommy laugh.

  "I'll call you tomorrow, Sarah." he added, and the door was closed.

  I listened. Mommy moved about downstairs, shutting off lights, and then she started up the stairway. I waited in the doorway and when she saw me, she stopped.

  "I tried to get him to tell. Mommy. Really. I did try, but he wouldn't. He fell asleep."

  "Maybe he will tomorrow," she said. "when he sees there is no breakfast for either of you until that magnifying glass is brought back inside the house."

  She marched past me to her room. I saw the lights were on already, and the bed was unmade. Why was the bed unmade? Mommy never left her room sloppy. She paused, turned, and looked at me.

  "I'd advise you to get some sleep. Celeste," she said and closed the door.

  I turned and went to one of our windows to look out at the night.

  Daddy, I thought, if you're here, please tell me what to do. Please. I begged, and then I turned off the lights and went to bed.

  Noble was up ahead of me in the morning. He had fallen asleep in his clothes and didn't bother changing into different ones. He just rose and went downstairs, expecting to have breakfast. I heard him come charging up the stairway, his feet pounding.

  "Get up. Celeste!" he cried, charging through the door. He shook me.

  "What is it?" I groaned.

  "Mommy won't give us anything to eat until we find the magnifying glass."

  "I told you," I said.

  "We've got to find where Daddy hid it." he said.

  "Noble. you know where it is. Just get it. Please." I said and closed my eyes.

  He shook me again.

  "Stop it!" I screamed at him. "Shaking me won't help. Bring in the magnifying glass."

  "I don't know where it is." he said. "We've got to look everywhere. You have to help me. Get up." he commanded. "Mommy says you should."

  I groaned, ground the sleep out of my eyes, and then slipped my feet into my shoes.

  "C'mon," Noble cried, pulling my hand.

  "I want to at least wash my face with cold water and wake up. Noble," I complained.

  He stood by impatiently. waiting. I had to pee. too. He opened the bathroom door while I was still on the toilet.

  "Get out!" I shouted at him.

  Although we shared a room. I didn't like him in the bathroom when I was there. and I no longer took baths with him or let him see me in the tub.

  "Hurry up," he cried. "Im hungry."

  I joined him in the hallway, and he shot down the stairs.

  "This is really stupid. Noble." I muttered. I could hear Mommy in the kitchen. She sounded like she was unloading dishes from the dishwasher, something she ordinarily wanted me to do. She was so angry at me that she wouldn't even permit me to do my chores.

  I followed Noble outside and stood on the porch. "Okay, so now what?" I asked him.

  "We'll search everywhere.'' he declared, "I'll use my magic wand," he added and went for a broomstick that he had painted yellow and red. Somehow, despite his own hunger, this had all turned into one of his silly, childish games. I thought.

  I traipsed behind him from the house to the Garage to our barn. He would lift his broomstick and then say some gibberish he had invented, which was probably what the postman had overheard and thought was a real foreign language. Noble's magic stick supposedly leaned toward one direction or another, and we followed it as if it were a bloodhound. How long, I wondered, would he keep this up?

  He opened closets in the garage. He looked under the vehicles and in the vehicles. He went through shelves, and then he went to the old barn, where I thought he would produce the magnifying glass for sure. He looked through tools, looked in a wheelbarrow, looked in carts, and even looked under the lawn mower. I stood by watching him and waiting.

  The magic wand isn't working. It lost its power." he decided and threw it down outside the barn. Then his eyes brightened. "No, it didn't!" he cried.

  "What now. Noble? I'm tired and hungry and Mommy is so mad at us, she'll never be nice to us again."

  He lifted his arm and pointed to the broomstick. "Look at where the wand is pointing." he said. "How can you tell where its pointing?"

  "The end. silly. It's pointing there," he said and pointed his right forefinger toward the old

  gravestones.

  "Noble --"

  He broke into a run, and I followed, When we reached the tombstones, he stopped, and then he turned to me and smiled.

  "Told you Daddy did it," he said and went to Infant Jordan's stone. There atop it was the

  magnifying glass.

  I felt my breath stop.

  "You did that. Noble" I said in a hoarse whisper.

  "No. I didn't! If you tell Mommy I did. I'll throw it away again." he warned.

  "Okay, okay, I won't," I said. "Let's just bring it into the house and make her happy."

  I started toward the house and paused to look back once. For an instant. I thought I did see Daddy, but then I decided it was just a shadow caused by a cloud drifting in the wind. I shook my head to shake out my heavy thoughts that felt like cobwebs, and I continued toward the house. Noble followed with a soft smile on his face, the smile of someone who thought he had been validated. He might even believe what he's saying. I thought. He certainly looked and acted like he did. Was that his dream, or was it the truth?

  When we entered. Mommy came into the hallway. She was wiping a dish.

  "Well?"

  "I found it Noble said. "My magic wand helped."

  "I see," she said when he held up the magnifying glass.

  "You know where it was, where we found it?" he asked her.

  "I can't imagine," she said.

  "On the Infant Jordan tombstone," he said. He looked at me and then at Mommy, who stopped wiping the dish.

  "Tombstone? Why was it there?"

  "Daddy didn't want me to have it," he told her. "because Mr. Kotes was in his chair."

  She recoiled as though she had been slapped.

  "Put it away, wash up, change your clothes, and sit down to breakfast," Mommy ordered, She looked at me fiercely. "Now!"

  We both hurried up the stairs to do what she had said. Did she think I told him that? My heart was pounding.

  "I told you not to say such a thing. Noble. I told you," I chastised.

  "It's the truth." he asserted.

  When we went downstairs again, our food was on the table. Mommy stood aside and watched us for a while. Then she stepped up to the table and looked down at Noble.

  "Where did you get such an idea about your father?" she asked him.

  "I don't know. I just thought because Mr. Kotes was in Daddy's chair. that Daddy was mad."

  She looked at me.

  "I didn't tell him to say that. Mommy. I swear I didn't." She turned back to Noble.

  "I don't want to ever hear you say such a thing to Mr. Kotes or anyone else. Noble. Do you understand?"

  He nodded, but he looked so satisfied with himself Even Mommy sensed it and turned quickly to look at me. I bit down on my lower lip and shifted my eyes quickly back to my cereal.

  "There is nothing worse than lying about them," she said in a hoarse whisper. "Nothing."

  I couldn't swallow. The food lumped up in my throat, and tears came to my eyes, tears that burned.

  Afterward, when Noble was outside. I went to her and again told her that I had nothing to do with what he had said.

  "He made it all up himself. Mommy. I swear." She shook her head.

  "He couldn't do that. Celeste,"

  "Why not?

  "He just couldn't," she insisted.

  "I'm not lying." I moaned and started to
cry.

  "Maybe you said something under your breath or to yourself, and he overheard it."

  "No. Mommy."

  "I don't want to talk about it anymore," she snapped. "Go see what he's doing and watch over him. Go on she ordered.

  I couldn't help being angry at Noble for getting me into so much trouble. None of it seemed to bother him. It was truly as if he mixed his imaginary world, his pretend and his games, with our spiritual community. He didn't understand, but more important, he didn't care.

  Maybe Mommy was right. Maybe he was in some grave danger, only, what could I do about that?

  We didn't talk about it anymore that day. and Mommy didn't either. I think it was because she was so happy about our test results. Mr. Katzman commented that we had done better than most students who attended school. Mommy made a point of reading that aloud to us.

  As to the magnifying glass. Noble refused to use it again, believing Daddy didn't want him to use it. I knew it. but Mommy didn't. I warned him not to tell her, and he at least listened to that. When Mr. Kotes asked about it. he simply told him we had found it, but he wouldn't talk about it or talk to Mr. Kotes much at all, if could help it. I could see that annoyed Mommy, but she seemed reluctant to complain or reprimand him for being sullen.

  Mr. Kotes began to appear at our house more and more often, either for dinner or just to visit. Getting Noble to accept him was obviously important to him. He lavished more gifts, bought him an air rifle, and then spent time showing him how to use it correctly and safely. The agreement. which Noble hated,was that he wouldn't use it unless Mr. Kotes was there with him.

  He bought Noble and me new fishing poles, too. but I knew it was mostly for Noble. With Mommy tagging along, he took us to the creek to fish and talked about how his grandfather used to take him fishing when he was about our age. Actually. I thought Mr. Kotes was a gentleman, a nice man who always seemed concerned about us. I couldn't harden myself against him as easily as Noble could. Mommy had to pull thank-yous and pleases out of Noble constantly.