Early Spring 02 Scattered Leaves Read online

  "I can make some things, too," I said. "Like scrambled eggs and toast, oatmeal. and--"

  "Oatmeal? Ugh. You like it?"

  "Nancy makes it with honey and raisins. It's good."

  "Who's Nancy?"

  "Grandmother Emma's maid and cook.'

  "Oh. Good. I'm glad you learned how to make things. We'll help each other. I just love having you here. When Emma's lawyer. Mr. Pond, called to tell me about Emma and how she was sending you to live with me. I thought, finally, finally my family remembers me. I thought I had been put on a raft and shoved out to sea. I can't remember when I last got a telephone call from anyone in my family.

  "So," she said, folding her hands together. "Where do you want to start?"

  "Start?"

  "With yourself, talking about yourself? You can start as far back as you remember. I don't care. I love stories. Oh. I have all the soap opera magazines, so you can catch up and watch them with me. I also love to watch Yesterday's Hungry Heart. It's about romance during the time when there were lords and ladies, knights and princesses. You'll be home from school before it goes on. too. I checked the time, The moment the bus drops you off, just come into the living room and we'll watch it together. okay?"

  I didn't know what to say. I never watched television right after school at Grandmother Emma's house and certainly never watched a soap opera. I couldn't imagine doing it instead of schoolwork, and I could never imagine Grandmother Emma watching such a thing.

  "You look so serious. Oh. I know. You're worried about doing your homework, but you don't want to start right in on schoolwork after you've just come home from school, do you? I never did. Emma did." she revealed. "She always addressed her responsibilities before anything else. She loved to say. 'If you do what's expected of you, you'll do what you expect of yourself.' Well. I never expected anything of myself." She laughed. "Whenever I told her that, she would get so angry that her ears would turn red." She leaned toward me to whisper. "You know what Emma's fond of telling people about us?"

  I shook my head.

  "She's fond of saying we're so different we're like night and day. It must have been another postman. Do you know what that means?"

  I shook my head even harder.

  "Good. Don't ask," she said, pulling back. She began to eat her peaches and cream, obviously savoring every bite.

  I tasted mine and thought it was delicious even though it was probably not the proper thing for lunch.

  "Do you like it?"

  "Yes."

  "Good. We only do things we like here. Na one tells us what to do, what to eat, when to go to sleep and get up and what to wear."

  She paused, as if she was afraid someone was listening, and then she added in another loud whisper. "No one except Emma, of course. Emma always told everyone what to do, even our mother. But let's not think about it." she followed quickly. "Let's not think about anything unpleasant. Happiness and joy," she said, holding up her child's charm bracelet. "That's what each of these means. This is a smiling face. See?"

  I nodded.

  "You saw my Christmas stockings hanging on the fireplace, didn't you?"

  "Yes, why are they there now?"

  "Every day is Christmas in my house." she said and leaned toward me. "And here, we can still believe in Santa Claus if we want to."

  She laughed and continued to eat.

  She was right, I thought. She and Grandmother Emma were like night and day. Whatever "it must have been another postman" meant, it was probably right,

  "Where's your other earring?" I asked her, now that she was showing me her jewelry.

  She put her hand to her ear.

  "Did it fall off again? We'll have to go on a treasure hunt. Later, we'll try to find it, and whoever finds it gets a prize. What will the prize be?"

  "A clean towel," Mae Betty said, returning with two more bags of garbage, which she had picked up from the living room. "In this house, that's a prize."

  Great-aunt Frances laughed.

  "Oh, don't exaggerate. Mae Betty," she said, waving at her.

  "You can wash up your own lunch dishes at least," Mae Betty muttered at us as she went by.

  "Of course we can. But will we?" Great-aunt Frances added and laughed.

  "I can," I said.

  Great-aunt Frances didn't look up to reply. She ate much faster than I did and when she finished, she rose and took her bowl and spoon to the sink. I watched to see if she was going to wash anything. She looked at the dishes left to wash and the things in the kitchen that had to be cleaned and thrown out, and then she shook her head and spoke to the dishes.

  "We haven't time for you right now," she said. "You'll have to be patient. I have to go upstairs with Jordan and organize our bathroom and help her with her clothes. Mae Betty will just have to put up with it." She turned to me. "Are you finished yet. dear?"

  "Yes," I said. I brought my bowl and spoon to the sink, and she took it immediately from me and put it on top of hers.

  Felix and Lester Marshall were coming up the hallway toward us. I saw that Lester had two window shades under his arm.

  "I'll be installing these in the young lady's room," he told Great-aunt Frances.

  "How thoughtful," she said. "We're going upstairs now, too."

  Felix looked at his watch. He was obviously staving longer than he had intended, but he urged Lester on and followed. We all ascended the stairway. Great-aunt Frances enjoying the fact that she was leading the little parade.

  "Let's fix up the bathroom while they work on your bedroom," she told me when we reached the top.

  I followed her in, and she immediately began to pick up things.

  "Emma would burst a blood vessel if she saw this bathroom. I'm sure. but I'm so used to living alone that even after I knew you were coming. I just simply went on in my usual way. You get forgetful when you reach my age. Jordan. be depending on you to remind me about things all the time. Little girls don't forget anywhere as much."

  She knelt by the tub and began to wash it. I gathered as much as I could off the sink and began to straighten up the cabinet. I thought I would keep one shelf for my own things. I had enough tampons for a while. but I wondered now what Great- aunt Frances had been told about me. How would she react to the news? Did she know all about Ian and Miss Harper?

  "Do you know where Ian is?" I asked, hoping she had been told.

  She paused and turned, sitting on the floor.

  "Ian?"

  "My brother.

  "Oh, Ian. Yes. I do remember there's an Ian. That's right. He's not all that much older than you. He needs to be with someone. too. Where is he?"

  "He's in some institution. I have letters from him to read and then I'm going to write letters to him. Will you mail them for me?"

  "Of course I will, I mean. I'll tell Lester to mail them. I haven't mailed anything to anyone for years. We have rural free delivery here. The postman drives up, puts mail in our mailbox and takes away the mail Lester sends. I don't even pay bills. Emma's always taken care of the bills-- or someone who works for her. Oh. I had better be sure to have Lester buy us stamps." She laughed. "I don't even know how much a stamp costs these days. But she said, waving at me, "I'm sure you know all about it. Children know so much these days. When I was your age. I was lucky to know the way home."

  She turned again to the tub, then paused and turned back. "Where did you say Ian was?"

  "It's an institution where children go when they do a bad thing."

  "A bad thing?"

  "I don't know how long he'll be there or much more about it." I said. "Maybe he tells in his letters. I wasn't given the letters until this morning.

  Grandmother Emma had them in her office but never gave them to me."

  "Emma decides everything for everyone." she said.

  "I told you. Ian did a bad thing?"

  "Maybe you should call Grandmother Emma's attorney and ask him all about it. You can't call Grandmother Emma herself, She can't talk on the phone yet b
ecause of her stroke."

  "She can't talk at all?"

  "She tries, but it's hard to understand what she says. They're giving her speech therapy."

  I shook my head. Why hadn't they told Greataunt Frances everything? I wondered.

  "Emma must be so furious. I wouldn't want to be in the same room with her." She thought again. I'm afraid Emma has told me so little about our family." She smiled. "That's why I am so happy, so very happy you're here. We'll spend hours and hours talking, and you'll tell me everything about everyone. That is, anything you remember and are permitted to tell me, of course. You don't have to talk about the bad thing, whatever it was. In fact, try not to tell me anything unpleasant, and remember, we don't gossip. Gossip. Emma used to say, is words made of air. Real conversation is full of facts. You know what facts are. right?"

  "Yes," I said. "'My brother was full of facts."

  "Good. So we won't gossip."

  She turned back to the tub. How could she not want to know why Ian was in the institution? Wouldn't she be curious, at least? Should I just blurt it all? What if I told her what I had seen in the basement? Would she be upset? What would she do if she was? Cry hysterically? Throw a tantrum? Would I be blamed for whatever she did?

  She looked up at me again.

  "Do you have something else to say?

  Something pleasant?"

  I shook my head. No matter what happens, I decided. I really should come right out and tell her everything about Ian. She has a right to know. He's her grandnephew, after all, I thought, but she put her right forefinger to her lips.

  "Swallow bad news." she said. seeing that the words were nearly dripping from my lips. "That's what I do, Swallow it quickly and never bring it up again."

  She turned away from me. Maybe it just not the right time, I thought. Grandmother Emma always said there's a right time for everything. First, determine that.

  "There's enough room in the cabinet now. I'll go get my things," I told Great-aunt Frances.

  She nodded without looking back at me. Just as I started to leave, she did turn.

  "Wait," she said. She wants to know after all, I thought, but that wasn't it. "I know just what we'll have for dinner," she said, her voice suddenly full of childish excitement. "We'll send Lester for Southern fried chicken and a quart of chocolate marshmallow ice cream. Okay?"

  I nodded, even though chicken and ice cream didn't sound like a dinner.

  Felix stepped into the bathroom and looked around, then he looked at me.

  "Lester," he called without turning away.

  "Yes, sir. I'm here."

  Lester joined him quickly.

  "Any reason why you haven't fixed that faucet?" Felix asked, nodding at the dripping.

  "Didn't know it was leaking. She never said. I don't come up here much. Don't like to invade her privacy."

  "Yeah, well, invade it and fix the faucet. Looks like you have a leak around that toilet. too."

  "I'll be on it."

  Felix turned back to me.

  "I'll be returning to Bethlehem now. Jordan. but I'll be returning here very soon," he said, raising his voice. "Keep a list of anything you find that needs attention. understand?'

  "Yes," I said. glancing at Lester Marshall. I didn't like being a tattletale, and that's what it sounded like I would become.

  "Don't worry, Your grandmother would expect you to do so," Felix told me.

  "Okay." I said. If it was what Grandmother Emma would want. I'd have to do it.

  "I'm going now," he said. "ButI'll be back again- soon," he repeated, this time looking pointedly at Lester. He put his hand on my shoulder for a moment, and then he walked toward the stairway.

  I looked back at Great-aunt Frances, who was still on her knees washing the tub, and Lester Marshall, who was examining the sink faucet. Once again. I felt a great urge to run after Felix to beg him to take me home. but I didn't. I watched him disappear down the stairs. then I went to my room to get my bathroom things. I did go to the window, where I looked out for one last look at Felix. I saw him pause, gaze back at the house. Shake his head, then get into Grandmother Emma's limousine. A few moments later he was driving off. He was the last person connecting me to my past world, All I had now were Ian's letters waiting to be read.

  As the limousine made its way down the gravel drive, the girl and the boy I had seen in the basement crossed in front of the house and walked toward the small house. The girl wore an apricot-colored round crown hat. They were laughing, but suddenly the girl pushed the boy away. He looked like he protested, but she ran and he ran after her. I watched them until they disappeared from my view. Then I returned to the bathroom with my toilet articles.

  Lester was gone. but Great-aunt Frances was sitting on the side of the tub looking exhausted. She had her hand over her breast.

  "It takes so little to tire me out these days. That's why I can't do very much. Mae Betty will just have to work harder now that you're here. too. I'm not used to house cleaning," she whined. "And I'm too old now to start. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. The tub is as clean as I can get it." She paused and then smiled. But don't worry, dear. We'll be all right. Everything will be all right. We don't have to be so uppity about ourselves, do we? If Emma doesn't like it, she'll just have to hire more help for me."

  While she spoke. I put my things in the medicine cabinet.

  She saw me put the tampons in the bottom cabinet, but she looked away quickly.

  "You know I had my first period already. right?" I asked her. She shook her head, keeping her gaze on the floor.

  "I don't talk about that. I hate to talk about anything that isn't pleasant. That goes for doctors and hospitals especially. I don't like to think about them. I hate going to the dentist. too. Dr. Evans comes to see me once in a while, and he's going to come see you soon, too. Emma's lawyer told me it's all arranged. so I don't have to be concerned about any of that," she said, looking at me again and smiling. "We don't want to even think about unpleasant things, now do we. Jordan? Okay? Okay?" she pursued, now with more urgency.

  I nodded. What else couldn't I tell her about? What was I supposed to do about my problems? How could I swallow back everything?

  "The only unhappiness we will permit in the house will come over the television set in my programs. That's all right, isn't it? If someone says anything unpleasant to us, we'll just pretend he or she is not there. It's like changing the channel on the television set. It's that easy. You just close your eyes for a second and go. 'Click!' in your mind and poof, whoever it is and whatever unpleasant thing they said or did will be gone.'

  She stood up quickly.

  "I must remember to go tell Lester what we want him to get us for our dinner. Because it's Southern. I'm going to put on a Gone With the Wind dress, I have all sorts of old clothes stored in the basement. I'll find something you can wear, too. I'll go look right now. What a fun, wonderful way to have our first dinner together."

  She hurried out of the bathroom and down the hall before I could ask any questions. What was a Gone With the Wind dress? I also wondered if she would realize those kids had been down there.

  More important, I wondered why Grandmother Emma thought I would be better off living here than back at the mansion with my father, even with his girlfriend there.

  I closed the medicine cabinet and left the bathroom as Lester returned with tools to fix the faucet.

  "It's a beautiful day," he said. "You shouldn't shut yourself up in here. Why don't you go over to the house and see what Alanis is doing."

  "Who's Alanis?"

  "That's my granddaughter.'"

  The girl in the basement, I thought. "Is there a boy there. too?"

  "Oh, that's her latest. Chad Washington, By the time you walk over there, he might be gone and some other boy will be knocking on the door."

  He laughed and went into the bathroom.

  As Ian might say, the door to my curiosity was thrown open. I started for the stairway. I could hea
r Mae Betty cleaning up the kitchen. The clanging of pots and pans, the sound of silverware being tossed and the jerking and pushing of the chairs and table told me she was still in a rage. I avoided her and quickly went to the front door and outside.

  It was still a warm day, only more clouds had come slipping in under the blue so that the sun was hidden enough to cast a layer of light gray over the property. I could hear music coming from Lester Marshall's house. Some of the windows were open, and whatever was playing the music-- radio or CD player-- was turned up to be very loud.

  I walked down the steps carefully and started slowly toward the house. I could hear the chickens Felix had told me about. They were in a pen next to the barn in the rear of the main house. When I drew closer to the Marshall house. I heard another window being thrown open. The curtain parted and the girl I had seen in the basement leaned out. The music was turned down, too.

  "Hey!" she called. I walked a little faster toward her. "Who are you? What are you doing snooping around here?"

  The boy she was with appeared over her shoulder and looked out at me.

  "I'm not snooping," I said. "Mr. Marshall told me to come over here. Are you Alanis?"

  "Mr. Marshall told you?" She laughed, looked at the boy and then at me again. "So who are you?"

  "I'm Jordan March." I said.

  "March? You related to Miss Piggy?"

  I glared back at her a moment. That was a nasty thing to say.

  Maybe I should just return to the house,. I thought.

  "You mean my great-aunt Frances?"

  "Oh, she's your great-aunt? What's so great about her?" she asked and laughed again. The boy laughed. too.

  "That means she's my grandmother's sister," I said.

  "I know what it means. I'm just teasing you. girl." She continued to look at me a moment. "Okay, come on in. Chad and I are bored anyway, or at least I am."

  She backed away from the window and the curtain fell together again. I hesitated, looked back at the house, then walked slowly toward the front of the Marshall house, I saw a dark-brown hound dog lying on the front porch. It lifted its head off its paws to look my way, then lowered it again. Before I got there. Alanis opened the door and stood there with her arms folded.