Girl in the Shadows Read online

  "Absolutely. I love good wine."

  "yes, I imaine you're a real sommelier," Mrs. Westington said.

  "What?"

  "Never mind. I'm tired and need some rest," Mrs. Westington said. "We took Echo shopping at a mall today to get her some clothes and other things she needed, things children normally have mothers for."

  "You've done wonders with her. Ma. Don't think I don't appreciate it."

  "I didn't do anything for you."

  "She's so big," Rhona continued, ignoring her, "She's becoming beautiful. too. She looks a lot like you did when you were her age."

  "You know what I think of false flattery,

  "I mean it. Ma. I'll show you some pictures of my mother when she was young and you decide. Skeeter. Are the albums still in Dad's old office?"

  "I'm surprised you remember where anything is in this house," Mrs. Westington said, her voice sounding tired. defeated.

  "I'm different. Ma. You'll see."

  "That's true. I'll see." Mrs. Westington concluded.

  I waited just a moment or two too long before I turned to Echo to signal we were leaving. Rhona stepped out and saw me in the hallway. She smiled coldly.

  "Spying on us, were you?"

  "No. We're on our way out for a walk." I said quickly.

  "Sure. you were. I know you. I know your kind, and do you want to know why I know you?" she asked, stepping toward me.I'll tell you why. Because once I was just like you, a parasite. Cmon. Skeeter," she said, turning to him before I could respond or react. "Let's get our other stuff out of the van. We're moving in."

  They stepped forward and then she saw Echo at the stairway. "Oh. Echo, sweetie," she cried. "Skeeter, ask her if she wants to help us bring in our things?"

  "I'm not sure I remember it all that well. Rhona. Let's see," he said, and started to sign. He was able to say, "You want to carry..." He started fumbling for other words, but Echo was smart enough to realize what he meant. She looked at Rhona, who was smiling at her and holding her hand, and she nodded quickly.

  "Great," Rhona said, putting her arm around her. "Come with us. You don't want to waste your time on a walk with her."

  Rhona looked back at me triumphantly as she took Echo out the door with her, her arm around her shoulders,

  "You don't want to mess with her," Skeeter told me as he followed. "She can be a viper."

  I watched them leave and then I looked in on Mrs. Westin ton, She was in her soft chair, her head back, her eyes closed. asleep. She looked years older to me. It was all foreboding. frightening. I hurried out the rear door of the house and then around toward the motor home. In more than one way now, it had become my true sanctuary. I knew I'd be comfortable in there beside Destiny.

  As soon as I entered. I sat across from the doll and just as Uncle Palaver would do. I started a conversation.

  "You can't imagine what a horrid thing has happened. Destiny. Rhona has returned with her socalled boyfriend and she's trying to win Echo away from Mrs. Westington and force Mrs. Westington to give her money, money she'll surely waste. I don't know what I can do about it."

  "You can stop whining for one thing." I heard. I looked up. Did I just do that, think it and throw my voice through Destiny? It was more like something Brenda would say. You don't let someone like Rhona push you around, she would surely tell me. She's really a coward at heart. Stand up to her and she'll back away so fast, it will leave a back draft.

  "Yes," I told Destiny. "I bet she really is a cowardly person. I'm not sure about Skeeter. He's not much better. but I think he's a sly, conniving sort of person. He's probably egging her on in all this. I saw how big his eyes were when he saw the house and the property. I should talk with Trevor," I continued. "He should know what just happened.'

  To me it looked like Destiny was smiling. Those soft lips were pulling in a little.

  "We'll make them disappear," she said. One way or another."

  She didn't really say it, of course. I had thrown my voice through her again, but it was comforting. I must surely be having a feeling close to what Uncle Palaver felt when he carried on his conversations with the doll. For now, the illusion was enough. I didn't feel as alone. Did that make me terrible, weird, strange, or was it just normal for someone as frightened and alone as I was, as Uncle Palaver had been?

  I gazed back at the house through the motor home window and saw Trevor Washington's light on in his apartment at the rear. I hadn't thought of him until now. Why was he so eager to get away when Rhonda and Skeeter showed up? I thought about it for a moment and then I rose, looked down at Destiny, who. As Tyler had said, seemed to follow your every move, and then I left the motor home and walked to Trevor's apartment entrance. I knocked and a moment later, he opened the door. To me he looked more tired and troubled than I had ever seen him.

  "I hope you don't mind," I said. "but I wanted to tell you what Rhona said to me and what she's threatening to do."

  His eves widened, "What she said to you, huh?" ""Yes."

  "Come on in," he said, stepping back.

  All he had was what would be known as a studio apartment, a living room with a pull-out bed and a small kitchen. There was a table barely big enough for two. Had he lived in this little place all these years and not been unhappy?

  "It ain't much," he said, seeing how I looked around at everything. "Just a place to rest my tired bones every night." He turned off his small television set. "You want something to drink? I got some soda, some juice. whatever."

  "No. I'm fine, thank you."

  "Well, take a seat," he said, nodding at the small sofa. He sat in his well-worn big cushion chair.

  I saw the picture of a pretty African American woman on the dresser.

  "That was your wife?"

  "Charlie Mae, yes," he said. "Angels decided she was more than I deserved, She's gone, but I know she's still here," he said. I didn't need an explanation. "So, tell me about Miss Rhona. What poison came off that tongue?"

  "She wants me out. She says she's going to take back custody of Echo and she's pretending to be a loving mother now. She and that man Skeeter want Mrs. Westington to give them money to buy old houses for him to fix up and sell."

  "Oh, so that's their game. Might as well go over to the toilet, drop it in, and flush." he said.

  "I think that's what Mrs, Westington thinks, too. but I'm worried Rhona and Skeeter will use Echo to blackmail her."

  "No doubt." he said, nodding. "Rhona knows howto blackmail people real well."

  "Oh?"

  "She's probably going to tell you one day soon, so I might as well tell you myself," he said. "She wanted money to run off with and of course. Mrs. Westington wouldn't give her a penny, so she come to me."

  "Why would you give her any money?"

  "I wouldn't, but she sat right where you're sitting now and began to unbutton her blouse. She didn't wear a bra. Half the time, she didn't wear panties, neither. I don't know how many men she brought up here at night, but the list is probably a good half of the male population.

  "Anyhow, she threatened to claim I tried to rape her. To make her point, she dug her own fingernails into her shoulder and tore down the skin right to her breast. She didn't wince. She sat there smiling and tearing her skin and her blouse. She said she wasn't going to run to her mother. either. She was going to get into her car and drive right to town and go to the police on me. I had no doubt she would do it.

  "Anyway. I gave her all the money I had here, which was considerable because I didn't do much investing. She knew I had it. My guess was she spied on me through the windows and saw me counting it or something. She knew my hiding spots and she probably would have stolen it if she could get in. but I never forgot to lock the door and windows.

  "The way I saw it, it was good riddance anyway. She was aggravating Mrs. Westington to death with her antics. I thought, of all the possible investments I could have made, this one was the best because it rid us of Rhona.

  "Of course, I felt sorry for
Echo. She was a mite of a thing and didn't know how bad Rhona was. I justified it by telling myself the child was better off without her. But I know a child never can forget or disown her own mother and be happy about it. And then there was my guilt over making it possible for Rhona to leave Mrs. Westington like that.

  "One day, she turned to me and with those eyes of hers burning into me the way she can make them burn, she asked me where I thought Rhona got the money to take off like she had. I had little chance of gettting away with any sort of a lie. so I upped and told her the whole story. Of course, she bawled me out for it, but she also admitted she understood why I would be afraid. 'My daughter's an expert when it comes to lying and cheating,' she said. 'She could make John the Baptist look like a serial rapist.'

  "Still, I felt bad about keeping everything secret all that time. Grapes are sure a helluva lot easier to raise than children." he concluded.

  "Well, what should I do now? Should I leave?"

  "That's up to you, of course. but I think Mrs. Westington would rather you stayed on. She's quite a bit older than she was when Rhona ran off, but she's still got lots of Grit. I'll do whatever I can, too.

  "I won't kid you about it,' he added. "Rhona's pretty resourceful. I don't know where you've been and what you've seen in your short life. April, but you're about to learn how low-down someone can get. When that girl gets buried, there'll be black weeds sprouting all around her grave and every animal in the world will steer clear. Birds won't even fly over the tombstone."

  I nodded. "I'm not going to run away," I said. "I've done enough of that."

  "Maybe so. Echo's sure found a friend in you." "Thanks. Trevor," I said. rising,

  "Nothing to thank me for,"

  "Yes there is. Thanks for trusting me with the painful truth." He smiled.

  I walked to the door. "We're not getting pushed around anymore." I vowed.

  "Yes. ma'am. If you say so," he told me, and I walked out.

  Where did I get all the courage? I wondered. I looked at the motor home. The light was on. Had I left it on? I guess so. I thought. I'd better go turn it off. The batteries are weak enough as it is.

  I hurried back, opened the door, and started up the short stairway only to stop dead in my tracks. My mouth hung open stupidly.

  Sitting where I had been sitting, across from Destiny, was Tyler Monahan.

  7 Kissing a Fool

  .

  "What are you doing in here?" I asked. "When I drove up. I saw the light on and

  thought you were in here." he said. "I was just about to leave to see if you were in the house. I was hoping to see you without Echo knowing I was here.'

  "Why do you want to see me now? You weren't very interested in seeing me earlier," I said, unable to keep the note of anger out of my voice.

  "I know, I felt bad about what happened today. I felt bad about it all, actually," he said.

  "You should. Echo was heartbroken and

  couldn't understand why you would simply ignore

  her." I wanted to add, "and so was I." but I didn't. "That's why I came here. I wanted to talk to you

  about... about it all," he said. He did look repentant. I retreated a step to close the door and then I

  walked into the motor home and sat just to the right of

  Destiny. It occurred to me that we were both staring

  directly at him. From the way he looked from her to

  me and smiled. I could see he was thinking about it.

  too. "What's so funny?"

  "You and the doll have the same expression on

  your faces," he said.

  "What's that supposed to mean? I'm just another

  doll in your eyes?"

  "No, no, nothing like that." He looked very

  nervous. "Whose van is that out front?"

  "That's Mrs. Westinaton's daughter. Rhona, and

  her boyfriend. Skeeter,"

  "Really? You mean, after all these years. Echo's

  mother has returned to her home and family?" "If you want to call it that. She didn't return

  because she missed her daughter. They want to get

  their hands on Mrs. Westington's money."

  He nodded. "Nevertheless, she's come home,"

  he said. "I think it was Robert Frost who wrote 'Home

  is the place where when you go there, they have to

  take you in.'"

  "I don't think Mrs. Westington is anxious to do

  that."

  "Yes. but she will," he said confidently. "It's

  easier for a child to run away than for a mother to turn

  her out or him out, for that matter."

  He was probably right. That inevitable outcome

  depressed me. but I didn't see as I could do much

  about it.

  "Why didn't you at least wave to us in the mall today?" I asked, returning to the reason for his

  appearance. "And don't claim you didn't see us." "I saw you." "So?"

  "I've already told you how upset my mother's

  been at how much time I spend here, spend on Echo.

  She doesn't know anything about you and what work

  I've been doing with you."

  "So? I still don't really understand why she's so

  upset about your working with Echo. You're doing

  what you were trained to do, what you were educated

  to do. Isn't she proud of that?"

  "She would rather I help out in our business

  right now. She thinks Mrs. Westington should be

  sending Echo to a special school and I shouldn't be

  taking on all this responsibility. She thinks I'm too

  involved with their family matters."

  "Well. Mrs. Westington will send her to a

  school. eventually." I raised my hands and smirked.

  "This is your excuse for not saying hello, for ignoring

  us?"

  "I just didn't want to create any more tension. It

  wasn't the right time to introduce you and Echo to her.

  She thinks Echo was brought to the mall deliberately

  to see me. She thought you were all following me.' "What? That's ridiculous. How would we know you were there? As I recall, you said you had to work in the store and you wouldn't have time for us on the

  weekend."

  "My mother's not thinking straight about this at

  the moment. It'll be all right, once I finish here. which

  I have to do very soon, actually sooner than I had

  planned."

  "It'll be all right? Is that what you think? I'm

  happy for you." "I just meant--"

  "Look. Tyler, this all sounds stupid to me.

  You're not a child. Just stand up to her."

  "It's not a matter of that. It's a matter of

  respect," he said.

  "Right." I looked down at the control for

  Destiny and slipped it into my hand. "What do you

  think. Destiny?" I asked the doll, and threw my voice

  to have her speak

  "We have a mama's boy here," Destiny said. "Very funny. An obedient son is not a mama's

  boy. April. My mother comes from a different world

  and she hasn't lost her tradition and her sense of what

  she was taught is right and is wrong. It's how I was

  brought up," he explained. "Our first duty is to our

  parents. We don't desert them because they're old or

  sick and we respect their wisdom,"

  "You should be telling Echo all this, not me. -

  Why come to me with these explanations and excuses.

  anyway?" I asked.

  He looked away and then he sat forward, his

  head down. "It's not only what happened in the mall.

  I'm ashamed about how I behaved here with you. I

  shouldn't have done what I did."

  "I didn't mind it," I confessed with a

/>   nonchalance that brought his eves up sharply. "Look. I

  know exactly what happened here. Tyler. You don't

  even have to try to explain it or make up something." "You do?"

  "You just looked at me and got disgusted. I told

  you I didn't want to get into that costume. I knew what

  I would look like in it."

  "Oh no, it wasn't you at all."

  "What?"

  "I mean, it wasn't solely because of you. It's

  me," he said. "You were very honest about yourself

  and told me some intimate things. I appreciate that,

  but it makes me feel deceitful."

  "Deceitful? Why?"

  "I haven't told you the truth about myself,

  April. The truth is not only don't I have a girlfriend

  here or in Los Angeles. I've never had a girlfriend.

  I've never been out on a real date, in fact."

  I squinted, skeptical. "You've never been on a

  date? This is what you want me to believe?" "I'm not lying. You have your personal and

  emotional problems and I have mine."

  I thought a moment and it was as if a lightbulb

  went on in my head. You don't mean... are you saying

  you're gay?"

  Was this why he was so interested in why I had

  left Brenda and run to Uncle Palaver, why he pursued

  me for details about Celia?

  "I guess I'm saving I don't know. I'm not sure if

  I'm gay or just afraid. insecure. It's how I am. how I've

  always been. Sometimes, I think I'm asexual, like an

  amoeba."

  "Well, as you asked me, are you attracted to

  boys or aren't you? Are you more comfortable being

  with boys?" I repeated like a prosecutor.

  "No. but I know I'm not as aggressive or as

  interested in girls as I should be, as other men my age

  are, as in fact my friends were when I was in high

  school and in college. They tried to include me in

  everything, parties, trips, but eventually they gave up

  on rile and so did most of the girls,"

  I studied him. Who would ever think a man as good-looking as he was would have trouble with women? On the other hand, his look was different and there were probably many girls and women who thought of him as Asiatic and therefore not for them. Maybe this was why he had a complex, felt insecure. Suddenly, instead of being angry at him. I was feeling sorry for him and I was thinking he and I were more