Early Spring 02 Scattered Leaves Read online

  Miss Puss leaped off the bed and walked cautiously in my direction.

  "You made breakfast?"

  I nodded and brought the tray to her, stepping around the discarded costume and away from Miss Puss, who was looking up at me with some expectation.

  "Oh," she said, looking at the cup. "How did you know I drink hot chocolate in the morning?"

  "I couldn't find any coffee. so I took a guess," I said.

  "Good guessing, only I always have it with a doughnut. Weren't there any doughnuts?"

  "Yes, but I didn't think that was a proper breakfast," I said.

  She looked at the eggs and the toast and then at me, and smiled.

  "That is exactly what Emma would tell me," she said. "But don't worry," she added quickly, as if she thought comparing me to my grandmother would upset me. "This will do today. Did you have breakfast?"

  "Not yet."

  "Well, wasn't that nice of you to think of me first. I must think of something nice to do for you today," she said and tasted the eggs. "Very good. Very, very, very good," she declared, holding out the spoon like a sword. "You are hereby given the title of chief cook and bottle washer." She laughed. "My father once gave me that title. You know what he called Emma, what title he gave her?"

  I shook my head.

  "He called her Mrs. President and told her she would be president of something someday because she knows how to assign work but not do any. Whenever I called her Mrs. President after that, she wanted to slap me. Sometimes she did."

  She laughed and continued to eat. Then she broke off a piece of toast and threw it to Miss Puss, who smelled it, looked at me, then took it and crawled under the bed.

  "Go make yourself breakfast, dear,I'll be down in a while and we'll think of things to do."

  "Okay," I said and started out. I stopped when I remembered what Alanis had said. 'Oh. I might go to the mall today with Alanis and get things I need for school. She said her father would take us."

  "What a smart idea. It's good to have someone older like Alanis to look after you. She'll know what you have to have for school."

  "Only, I don't have any money."

  "Money." she said. nodding. "Yes. I think I might have some money. I'll look for it."

  She thought she might have some money? She would have to look for it?

  "Don't you ever go shopping?"

  "No. Lester and Mae Betty get everything I need."

  "Don't you have any friends to go places with or who visit you?"

  "Not for a long time." she said. She looked like she might start to cry, so I didn't ask her why. I continued out and heard her shout after me, "But now I have you. Remember, the shooting star?"

  How could I be that sort of friend? I was just a little girl.

  I returned to the kitchen. After I had made my own scrambled eggs and toast and sat at the table. I heard the front door open and close. I wondered if Great-aunt Frances ever thought to lock it. Footsteps drew closer, and then Alanis appeared in the doorway. She had on her hat, a light green oversize blouse and her tight jeans. Her running shoes had words scribbled in black over them. I read a few quickly and realized they were all boys' names.

  "You need clothes." she said. grimacing. "You dress like you just landed this year."

  I was wearing the button-down blue blouse and long skirt Grandmother Emma had bought for me before she had suffered her stroke.

  "And those shoes... ugh. You didn't borrow them from your grandmother, did you?"

  "No," I said. "She has a smaller foot."

  "Otherwise you would? Is that it? Forget it. Did you get any money from your great-aunt?"

  "Not yet. I told her about your father taking us to the mall so I can buy some school supplies and she said she thought she might have some money somewhere."

  "Yeah, right. She might have some somewhere. She's got plenty stashed in a can or something," she said. "You can bet on that."

  "Whose names are on your shoes?"

  She laughed. "Those are the boys I shot down one way or another."

  "Why are their names on your shoes?"

  "It's like, you know, like gunslingers used to notch the handles of their guns?"

  I nodded. but I really didn't understand. She walked around the kitchen, looking in cabinets, finding a cookie and sitting at the table.

  "Who made that? Your great-aunt?"

  "No. I did. and I brought her breakfast in bed.*

  "So you're a little cook, too?" she said, plucking some of my scrambled egg off the plate with her fingers and tasting it.

  "Just a little," I said.

  "I hate cooking. Lots of times. I have to fix dinner for my grandfather even though my mother isn't at work because she's too occupied with other things."

  "Other things?"

  "Yeah, other things, like one of her customers from the Canary. "

  "Doing what?"

  "What do you think?"

  "I don't know."

  "Right. I forgot you just look like you should know. Okay," she said, getting up. 'Go find out about the money. My grandfather will take us soon. I've got my friends joining us. They want to meet you."

  "Me?"

  "No, the other person sitting here. Of course you. I told them all about you. We've got a lot to do. Now get after her," she said. She paused in the doorway. "We have one more day and night to party before we have to return to school, not that it will make a difference anyway," she said and laughed. "C'mon, c'mon," she urged, gesturing at me. "Get yourself moving. We're wasting time."

  I stood up and then she left. Great-aunt Frances hadn't come down yet, so I put my dishes in the sink and went up to get hers and see about the money. I found her foraging about, looking through drawers. When she saw me, she held up a fistful of dollars. Miss Puss was back on the bed, lying suspiciously close to the tray. The plate looked licked clean.

  "I hope this is enough," she said, handing it to me. "How much is it?"

  I counted twenty singles, a ten and a five.

  "It's thirty-five dollars."

  "Thirty-five? I know I have more around here somewhere. I've never treated money with the proper respect. Emma always said that. She would be infuriated whenever I found a fifty- dollar bill in a jacket pocket. My father was always giving me money. but I never knew what to do with it. I'd usually give it to Emma whenever we went anywhere together,"

  She squatted in front of the dresser and sifted some clothing around in a bottom drawer.

  "I remember I had a credit card, too. but I think Lester told me it expired."

  "I think this will be enough." I said.

  She stood up. She was still in her nightgown. It was faded and yellow, like the pages of an old book. I saw how dry her skin was around her elbows. She realized I was looking more closely at her.

  "I didn't used to look this way," she said, touching her face. "I've just not been taking good care of myself. But I will now." she added quickly. "Now that you're here, we'll both take care of each other. okay?"

  I nodded.

  "Oh," she said, going to her closet. "Look at what I found in my closet."

  She held up an embroidered schoolbag with a strap that went over your shoulder.

  "My mother gave this to me when I went into the sixth grade, and now I'm giving it to you," she said.

  I took it and saw the inside had a lining and the top had a zipper'

  "Thank you."

  "You're welcome, dear. Now, I'm going to take a bath and brush my hair and maybe even do my toenails," she said. "I haven't done my toenails in a long time. and I haven't put on nail polish since... since I can't remember."

  I put the schoolbag over my shoulder and picked up the tray.

  "Miss Puss is as good as a dishwasher." Greataunt Frances said.

  Surely, she didn't think that was the proper way to clean the dishes. The way she had said it made me worry, however. I put it on the tray.

  "Do you want me to buy you anything when I'm at the mall?" I asked.
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  "Oh, you don't have enough money for me, too. You might not have enough for yourself. I'll keep looking for more," she said. "And next time he calls. I'm going to tell Emma's lawyer to send us some. We need petty cash now that I have a young girl living with me!" she declared. She grew serious. "I'm surprised Emma didn't think of it. She really must be sick. No one could think of everything necessary better than my sister. She could have been the first female American president,"

  I stood there for a moment with the tray. She'd said the last sentence with respect and admiration.

  "You do like my grandmother?"

  "Of course, I don't like her. I love her. She's my sister. However," she said, lowering her voice and looking at the doorway, as if she was afraid someone might be listening, "she doesn't love me right now. But," she added, raising her voice and smiling. "now that you're here and she sees how wonderful things will be, she'll love me again."

  "She's your sister. too. She should love you even if I wasn't here."

  "I suppose."

  "What made her stop loving you?"

  She stared a moment and then she shook her head.

  "What did I say?" she asked, waving her right forefinger at me. "What did we agree about? Never talk about anything unpleasant, remember? No sadness or unhappiness can come into this house. Only over the television set. Otherwise, what do we do? We go click our eyes closed and when we open them, whatever was unpleasant is gone, remember?"

  I nodded. I wondered if she was saving this because she didn't want me to be sad or if she never wanted anything sad around her. She couldn't bury her head in the sand, but she could pretend to be some imaginary person and flee from tears as easily as opening and closing a door.

  "Good," she said, smiling brightly again. "I'll be down after I get dressed. Don't worry if you have to leave before I come down, because I'm going to take much mare time brushing my hair. I'm going to start to do all the things I used to do when I cared about myself."

  "Okay," I said and left her humming and rushing about behind me. Before I went down with the tray. I left the schoolbag on my little desk, next to the bag of Ian's letters. I thought I would come up to read them after washing and putting away all the dishes and silverware, but Alanis returned before I could.

  "Well, how much did you get out of her?" she asked immediately. I held up the money. She took it from me and counted it. "That's it?"

  "That's all she could find right away," I said. "Isn't it enough?"

  "It's never enough. We have to buy some school supplies so she won't wonder about it, but that won't leave much for our party needs."

  She thought a moment, then smiled with crooked lips.

  "After she goes asleep one night, we'll start our own search through this house. Well find it."

  "No. I wouldn't do that. It would be like stealing," I said. Ian would surely agree.

  "You're not stealing if you're taking it from your own family. She would have given it to you anyway eventually. I swear, you do have a lot to learn, and fast. too. This ain't Wonderland and you ain't Alice. C'mon. Let's get my granddad to take us now."

  I followed her out of the house. Lester Marshall was cutting the weeds that had grown in the driveway.

  "Granddad!" Alanis screamed. "Damn, he's deaf," she muttered when he didn't look our way. She took a few steps toward him, cupped her mouth and shouted again. He turned. "We gotta go now."

  He nodded, took a few more swipes with his tool, then dropped it to walk toward the car.

  "C'mon, and don't say anything about anything," she warned me.

  What did that mean?

  I followed her to her granddad's car. She told me to get into the backseat. The seat was ripped, and some of the stuffing was leaking out. There was a tear on the back of the driver's seat, too. How old is this car? I wondered.

  Alanis oat into the front seat and leaned over before her granddad got in.

  "Put on the seat belt. He's a nutcase for seat belts ever since my uncle Roland died in a car crash."

  "Your uncle died in a car crash?"

  "When he was only nine, He was in the backseat and..."

  She raised her eyebrows when her granddad opened the door to get in.

  "Well, how do. Miss Jordan," he said, smiling at me. "How was your first night at the farm?" "Okay," I said.

  "I don't know why you still call it a farm. Granddad," Alanis said. "There's only a few scrabbly hens and that old rooster, and half the time we don't get any eggs."

  "A farm's always a farm," he said, closing the door. The car's engine groaned with reluctance. He pumped his pedal and turned the key again.

  "Time for the junk heap," Alanis said.

  "People's always so eager to give up on things and each other, too," he said as soon as the engine started. He turned back to me. "Good, you wearing your belt. Well, then, let's get started. It's not the limousine that brought you, but it will get us where we got to go," he said, shifted and started down the driveway. "And how's Miss Wilkens doing today?"

  "She's fine," I said. "I made her breakfast and brought it to her room."

  "Did you now? Hear that. Alanis?"

  "I'm not deaf. Granddad."

  "I bet she just loves having you, having company," he told me.

  "She makes up her own company," Alanis said. "She doesn't need her for that.'

  "Watch what you say," her granddad warned. He smiled back at me. "I'm sure you were brought up right and proper. Miss Jordan. You know it's not nice to say bad things about your elders, now, don't you?"

  "Yes, sir."

  "I'm sure," he said. "Maybe some of that will rub off on my granddaughter here."

  Alanis waned and wrapped her arms around herself. She turned away and stared out the window, and she was silent almost all the way to the mall, only complaining about how slowly her grandfather drove,

  "People behind us would like to strangle you she told him.

  "They all in a rush to get nowhere," he replied and didn't speed up.

  The moment we pulled up to the entrance. Alanis leaped out of the car, slamming the door behind her and crying, "Finally. I nearly had another birthday."

  "Don't be sassy, Alanis. You be careful, and don't you fret Miss Jordan into any trouble," Lester Marshall called to her. He nodded at me. "Alanis knows how to reach me when it's time for you to come home."

  "Thank you," I said and got out.

  "C'mon," Alanis said, grabbing my left wrist and tugging me hard. "Hurry before he decides to park and stay here, too. He can haunt you worse than any ghost,"

  I looked back at her grandfather. He was still parked, watching us, a look of worry on his face. Before we entered the mall, he pulled away.

  Alanis led me into the mall to the food court, where two of her girlfriends were waiting. They waved as soon as they saw us.

  "This is Nikki, and that's Raspberry," Alanis told me when we stepped up to them.

  Nikki wasn't much taller than I was, if she was any taller. Her light brown hair was cut stylishly over her ears and midway down her neck. She had large turquoise eyes and shapely thin lips, but her nose was just a little too big for her face. As to her figure, she looked more like a girl in sixth grade than I did. Ian would say she was doomed to be a late bloomer.

  Raspberry, on the other hand, had a heavy bosom, wide hips and was taller than all three of us. Her reddish blond hair looked like it had dripped freckles down her bloated cheeks. She wore a thick, brassy-looking bracelet and a ring of some kind or another on almost all her fingers. When she turned to look at me closer. I saw she had a tattoo on the right side of her neck.

  It looked like a butterfly.

  "This is Jordan," Alanis said and put on a smile that made it seem like I was some sort of an

  accomplishment. The two girls ran their eyes up and down my body and smiled back at her.

  "Third grade?" Nikki asked.

  "Going into," Alanis underlined.

  "How old are you really?" Raspberry asked
me. When she spoke, her whole face became animated. Her eyebrows lifted and her cheeks seemed to rumble, as if they hadn't been attached to her bones.

  "I'm seven."

  "She's lying," Nikki told Alanis. "She just moved here, so you don't know for sure anyway. She can tell you anything she wants."

  "I'm not lying.'" I said.

  "We know your great-aunt," Raspberry said. "Why would your family send you to live with her unless you were in trouble? What you do? Did you get pregnant or something?'"

  "No! I didn't do anything."

  All three were staring at me now. I realized Alanis really hadn't believed everything I had told her and wanted her friends to consider me.

  "I was left back," Nikki admitted. "They said I wasn't ready for social intercourse:, so I didn't go to first grade until I was seven instead of six. Okay." she said, putting her hands on her hips. "Now it's your turn to tell the truth."

  "I did," I whined, tears coming to my eyes.

  "You're making her cry. Nikki." Raspberry said. "Mavbe she ain't lying."

  "I believe her." Alanis finally declared. "It's okay." she told me. "My granddad says she ain't lying about what happened to her parents, and if you're nice to her, she'll tell you all about her brother. Ian, and why he's in a mental institution. Right. Jordan?"

  I nodded.

  "That's a story I want to hear," Raspberry said,

  "Is that really your name?" I asked.

  She laughed.

  "No. it's Wilhelmina Jean. I hate my name, so don't call me that."

  "C'mon. Let's go get a piece of pizza and talk," Nikki said. "You got any money?"

  "She got thirty-five dollars from her great-aunt, but we can't spend it all. I need to get her some notebooks, pens and stuff," Alanis said,

  "That's no problem," Raspberry said. "We'll steal most of it."

  She and Nikki laughed, Alanis looked at me and shook her head.

  "They're just kidding." she said. I saw her give them a side look of reprimand.