Secret Whispers Read online

  “I guess that would be nice.”

  “Oh, it will be more than just nice. It’ll be the piéce de résistance, Semantha. Can’t you just imagine the guests circling and admiring it, taking pictures?” She laughed. “It will be the most expensive dessert most of them have ever had. This will be a wedding no one will forget. We’re having a twenty-six-piece orchestra. Your father is having a two-thousand-square-foot dance floor built, with multicolored lighting strung above it. We’ll have tents with tables all decorated according to the theme of love and union, and we’re going to provide the guests with a memento they will cherish and not just put into some box to forget. I have lots of ideas for that. We’ll be going to the wedding planners after the dress designer to work on that and see his suggestions for the menu. Of course, we’ve hired not just a wedding photographer but also a professional movie director to film the entire event.

  “Regarding the menu, here’s what I was thinking.” She turned fully around to me. I smiled to myself. She was like a little girl turned loose in a toy store and told not to worry about any costs.

  “There’ll be caviar and champagne, of course, a variety of at least three special soups, lobster in cream sauce with chopped truffles, as well as beef and pork filets and chartreuse of pheasant. Of course, there’ll be sherbet to cleanse the palate between courses, a wide variety of red and white wines, any possible liquor, and very expensive port for after dinner. I’m getting advice about the wine from a famous French sommelier. I think it’s important to provide a good variety at a wedding like this, especially with such a big guest list, don’t you?”

  I nodded, but I saw she wanted a more enthusiastic reaction.

  “Isn’t this exciting?”

  “Yes,” I said, widening my eyes. “It’s very exciting, Lucille. I can’t imagine any wedding grander, except maybe the wedding of a king or a queen.”

  She laughed at my obvious attempt to match her enthusiasm.

  “I’m sorry. I’m overwhelming you with my passion. You must feel like you’re under a waterfall or being swept along in a great tidal wave.”

  “Yes, I do,” I said, trying not to sound unhappy about it, but the more she talked about how she and Daddy were going to become one, the more left out I felt.

  “Just try to ignore me when I get this carried away.” She squeezed my hand. And then she exclaimed, “Oh, it’s so wonderful to have you with me for all of this!”

  She leaned over and hugged me, and I thought, Shut up, Cassie. None of your sarcasm and meanness. I’d love to be as happy as Lucille. Would I ever be? Maybe sharing Daddy and Lucille’s joy was as close as I would ever come, and if Lucille was willing to let me share, then maybe she wasn’t as bad as I had first thought.

  Despite my fears about my losing interest and being dragged about, there was little or no time to be bored when I was with Lucille. We spent hours at the dress designer’s showroom. She had me try on the maid of honor gown immediately and told the tailor to make mine fit absolutely perfectly. I thought none of his suggested alterations would ever satisfy her. This was too tight; that was too loose. Why was she spending so much time on me? She answered that for me by telling me that any imperfection or mistake would reflect on her. “But,” she added, “I want this to be just as perfect for you as well. You’ll be in so many wedding photographs, memories forever.”

  Finally, after one more adjustment, she gave him her approval. After that, we went to lunch at a French restaurant to explore some other possible choices for the wedding menu. She did most of the talking, describing all of the places she had been in the world, especially the famous restaurants in London and Paris and Rome, and some of the sumptuous meals she had experienced. I couldn’t imagine anyone having a more glamorous life, and most of that even before she was my age. Why had she been so blessed? She saw the envy in my face, and I immediately felt guilty for having a face that Cassie said was so easy to read that it should be in a library.

  “Don’t be discouraged,” Lucille said, reaching for my hand. “You’ll do all these things someday, too, Semantha. I know you will. I’ll make sure you will,” she added, pressing her lips together and nodding.

  “What does she mean by that?” Cassie whispered. “Make sure? Whose life is this, anyway?”

  I didn’t ask. As soon as we were finished with lunch, Lucille marched us down the street to her beauty salon to get her hairdresser to study me and come up with a more attractive style. She ran through some pictures and then pointed to one and asked what I thought. It surprised me at first, because I would have thought it was more daring, sexier, than what she would like. When I agreed, she scheduled my appointment.

  “Don’t mess this up,” she warned him. “What’s done to her is done to me.”

  He looked sufficiently terrified.

  Moments later, we were rushing to the wedding planner’s office to review suggestions for the menu and wedding mementos. She settled on Waterford flutes, which would be almost as expensive as the wedding cake. My mind was reeling with the costs, despite what she had said about this being a one-and-only second wedding for both of them. She wanted to think more about the menu, so she didn’t agree to as much as a single hors d’oeuvre.

  After that, she surprised me by taking me to her favorite jeweler, where she had a graduation present waiting for me. I was speechless when the saleswoman brought it out to show me. She unwrapped the wax paper and placed it on the counter. All I could do was stare for a moment. My throat closed up, and my eyes burned with tears.

  Lucille had obviously gotten Daddy to find her one of my better baby pictures with Mother holding me. She’d had it put in a solid gold oval frame that was connected to a solid gold base with the words A mother’s love can never end inscribed on it.

  “Is it all right?” she asked me when I didn’t respond.

  “Oh, yes, thank you, Lucille.”

  “Good.”

  When I turned to her, the tears began streaming down my cheeks.

  “Oh, dear,” she said to the saleswoman. Then she hugged me and held me and whispered, “She’s passed her love on to me to give to you, and that is exactly what I intend to do. It’s a big responsibility, but I accept it openly and willingly forever and ever.”

  I said nothing. Cassie was groaning and moaning in the back of my head, but I kept her from invading my thoughts. I wasn’t often strong enough these days to keep her words boxed up. I held on to Lucille, and then I let go and waited off to the side while the saleswoman put my gift in its box. I held it in my arms and followed Lucille back to the limousine.

  “Thanks for putting up with me today,” she said as we started back to the Heaven-stone mansion. “I’m sure you would have had more fun doing other things.”

  “Oh, no. It was fun, Lucille.”

  “Was it? I was so afraid you would be bored. Good.” She smiled and then giggled as if she were my age before squeezing my hand. “Won’t your father be surprised at all the decisions we made today?”

  We? I thought. She was really including me.

  As soon as we arrived, I ran up to my room and found an ideal place for my graduation gift. It would sit on the table beside my bed so I could see it as soon as I woke up every morning. I sat on my bed and stared at it. I was ashamed at how little I had thought about Mother these past months. Memories about her frightened me because I feared they would make me too sad to go on, but that was selfish of me, I now thought. My mother didn’t deserve to be forgotten. I was sure she had loved me as much as any mother could love a daughter. It was a sin to push her away just to keep myself from being upset. Face our demons here, I chanted to myself. Don’t let them win. Wasn’t that what Daddy told me? The most difficult battle would be with Cassie. Even in her grave, she was stronger than I was, and I feared she always would be.

  There was a knock at my door.

  “Yes?”

  Mrs. Dobson came in with a look of surprise on her face.

  “You ran into the house and upstair
s to your room so fast I couldn’t even call to you,” she said. “Is everything all right? Did you enjoy your day with Mrs. Bennet?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry I frightened you. What is it, Mrs. Dobson?”

  “This came for you,” she said, and handed me a small, gift-wrapped box. A card was taped to it. She started to turn away.

  “Oh, no, stay. Let’s see what it is,” I said. I opened the card. It was a graduation card with Good luck, Guess who? written in it. Ordinarily, I would have let my thoughts flow quickly to Ethan, but I knew this was the way Uncle Perry always signed his birthday and holiday cards to us. Cassie used to smirk and say he was ashamed of his own name or something.

  I opened the gift and took out a woman’s Rolex watch.

  “Oh, how beautiful,” Mrs. Dobson said.

  “Look,” I said, showing her. “It’s inscribed with the date of my high school graduation.”

  Here, Uncle Perry had written his name. Despite what she had thought of him, I was sure Cassie would be green with envy. He had never given her anything half as beautiful or half as expensive.

  “It’s a real gem of a watch, Miss Semantha.” Mrs. Dobson’s eyes drifted. “That’s your mother with you there, isn’t it?” she asked, nodding at my graduation present from Lucille.

  “Yes.”

  “What a beautiful frame.” She read the inscription. “Very nice, Miss Semantha. Your father get you this?”

  “No, Lucille bought it for me. She gave it to me today.”

  “Really? Lucille,” she muttered.

  She looked at the frame and photograph more closely, as if she was more surprised than I had been. Maybe she had misjudged her, too, I thought.

  Now that I was in my room, I had been waiting to hear Cassie complain, but there was only silence. In fact, I was struck by how little of Cassie’s voice I had heard in my mind the whole day. Maybe that wasn’t simply my keeping her still. Perhaps Lucille had overwhelmed her as much as she had overwhelmed me.

  Mrs. Dobson nodded. “Well, it’s very pretty, Miss Semantha. And that’s a lovely watch. Both meaningful gifts.” She smiled and left.

  I went to shower and dress for dinner, feeling far happier than I had yesterday.

  Daddy and Lucille were already at the dining-room table when I arrived. I had taken my time with my hair and makeup, admittedly because of Lucille’s influence and comments during the day.

  “Well, who’s this beautiful woman?” Daddy asked. “I don’t recognize her.”

  “You look lovely, Semantha,” Lucille said. As soon as I sat, she began to describe our day. He kept looking at me to see if I agreed and was just as enthusiastic as she was. I saw how much pleasure it brought to him. He didn’t mind any of the costs and seemed to approve of every decision.

  “My two girls,” he declared, looking from me to Lucille. “You’re getting me more excited about a wedding than I ever thought possible.”

  “As far as that goes, Teddy,” Lucille said, “I have a surprise for you to add to the excitement.”

  “More?” He raised his arms. “I don’t know if I can stand it. What?”

  “The governor’s office called. He and his wife will definitely attend.”

  “Well, I’ll be. What do you say to that, Semantha?”

  “He should attend, Daddy. You bring a lot of tax money into the state.”

  “What? Hear that, Lucille? Is she a Heaven-stone after all or not?”

  “She’s definitely a Heaven-stone,” Lucille said, looking at me and smiling.

  If I hadn’t had my hands on the table, I think I might have risen and floated with new pride, but when I looked across the table at where Cassie used to sit, I saw her looking as angry as I had ever seen her.

  She wasn’t angry at my increasing friendship with Lucille or my embrace of their wedding. She was angry that I was finally beginning to replace her.

  “You’ll be sorry,” she mouthed, and disappeared.

  “What’s that on your wrist?” Daddy asked, finally noticing the Rolex.

  “A graduation present from Uncle Perry.”

  “Really? That sneak. He wasn’t supposed to beat me to the punch.”

  We heard the doorbell.

  “Well, now, here’s the punch,” Daddy said. “Mrs. Dobson,” he called. “We’ll get the door. Hold back serving for a little while,” he told her when she appeared. She nodded as though she already knew.

  “What is it?”

  “Just follow me,” he said. I looked at Lucille, but her face betrayed no knowledge. In fact, she looked more surprised than I was. He and she rose, and I went with them to the front door, now more curious and excited. A young man waited with a large manila envelope.

  “All the paperwork is in here, Mr. Heaven-stone, and the keys, of course.”

  “Thank you, George.”

  I stood back, waiting nervously. Before Lucille, Daddy rarely pulled off surprises. He had always lectured about the importance of a foundation, preparation, for anything.

  “Well, come on, Semantha,” Daddy said. “Your graduation gift is impatient.”

  I stepped up to the doorway and looked out at a red Aston Martin convertible with a huge yellow ribbon tied around it. Daddy reached into the manila envelope and handed me a set of keys.

  “Congratulations,” he said.

  “My God, Teddy, that’s almost a two-hundred-thousand-dollar automobile!” Lucille said.

  I turned to her, now really surprised that she hadn’t known what he was giving me and that she was so overwhelmed, perhaps even more than I was, because I didn’t know that much about cars.

  “What of it? She’s the only Heaven-stone left to spoil,” Daddy told her. He looked intently at me. “And besides, we’re very proud of her accomplishments, considering what she has been through.”

  “Of course we are,” Lucille said quickly, and hugged me. “Good luck with it, Semantha. You’re certainly going to turn heads when you’re driving that.”

  We all went down the steps to look more closely at the car. Daddy undid the ribbon and had Lucille and me sit in it so he could take a quick digital photo.

  “I hope you understand that this is more than just any car. It’s a work of art, Semantha,” Lucille said, running her hand over the fine leather. There was a note of real envy, even anger, in her voice, but then she quickly smiled and added, “I’m sure you do. You’re far from too spoiled to appreciate nice things.”

  “Now that you said how much it cost, I think I’m going to be afraid to drive it. It will attract lots of attention.”

  “So what?” She narrowed her eyes. “Never, never let anyone make you feel guilty for having expensive and beautiful things, Semantha. Believe me, if they could, they’d have them, too. Rich people who feel that way diminish not only their own meaning and identity but the hard work and effort their fathers and mothers have put in to get them to where they are in the world. I’m with those who say if you have it, flaunt it.” She laughed. “Although, I can tell you, I didn’t learn that from my father. After all, he’s a banker, and bankers hoard money rather than spend it.”

  “What are you two gabbing about?” Daddy cried. “I’m starving. Let’s eat. There’s time enough for you girls to ride around and show off.”

  “Oh, we know. There’ll always be time enough for that, Teddy,” Lucille said, winking at me.

  We got out. I looked back at my car and then down at my watch and thought, Lucille is right. I won’t be ashamed of what I have or who I am. I was sure I could do that and still respect people who had far less. At least, I hoped I could.

  We returned to the dining room and the conversation about their wedding. Even so, I could see Daddy’s surprise graduation gift seemed to have taken some of the wind out of Lucille’s sails. I couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for her, sorry I had taken away the spotlight. I think he realized it, too, because as soon as we finished with our entrée, Daddy said, “I hear Lucille gave you your graduation gift today as
well, Semantha.”

  “Oh, yes, Daddy. You must come up to my room to see it.”

  “That I will,” he said. “Mrs. Dobson, we’ll have coffee and dessert in the den in ten minutes,” he told her, and rose. “Lucille?”

  “Why don’t you two go up and look at it, Teddy. I’ll meet you in the den. I want to check on something in the office,” she said. “I’m waiting for a fax from Senator Brice’s office. His secretary told me she was confident he would attend our wedding, but I want to see it in writing.”

  Daddy nodded.

  “She’s not checking on anything,” he whispered to me as we started for the stairway. “We already heard from Senator Brice. See how sensitive and considerate she can be, Semantha? That was just an excuse. She wants us to have some father-daughter privacy. You’re going to come to appreciate Lucille as much as I do. I’m confident of it.”

  I wondered if he could hear Cassie’s scream as clearly as I could. It seemed to echo down the hallways and bounce like a ping-pong ball against every door and window.

  When we stepped into my bedroom and he saw the photograph in the frame, he stood looking at it so long in silence I thought I would burst into tears before he said a word.

  “It’s a beautiful frame, perfect,” he said softly. “Your mother loved you very much, both of you. Back then, I couldn’t imagine life without her. It seemed our love for each other had built a divine wall of protection around us.”

  He took a deep breath, drinking in air like someone who had just come up from being underwater. Daddy wasn’t one to show his emotions so easily, especially with me. He could be angry, yes, but a face of sorrow wasn’t something he permitted himself often. He nodded and smiled, quickly regaining hold of himself. I could almost see him seize his emotions around their necks and set them down.

  “I think it’s a terrific sign of self-confidence for Lucille to think of such a gift for you. She believes, as do I, that you will come to accept her as a close friend, if not a mother. You did a nice thing today shopping with her. She told me when we first met that she regretted being an only child and not having an older or younger sister. I guess you’ll be more like a younger sister to her than a stepdaughter, don’t you think? At least, I hope you’ll be.”